


Libraries are for meetings

by 1_1SnailXD



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Anxiety, Asexual Character, Bisexual Character, Death, Deceit inspired character, Emotional Abuse, Exploring Sexuality, Gay Character, Genderfluid Character, Homelessness, Homophobia, Human AU, Injury, M/M, Multi, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Pansexual Character, Physical Abuse, negative thinking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-04-06 10:11:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 35,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19060549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1_1SnailXD/pseuds/1_1SnailXD
Summary: Virgil works as a cleaner in a library after losing his university scholarship. He’s homeless, he’s lost, he’s confused and he has to admit he needs help. Cue an unpredictable meeting and suddenly there is someone willing to take him on the path of self discovery and acceptance. Will he accept it, or will he walk away like he normally does.Virgil and Logan’s growth may be the main focus, but Patton and Roman do have their own story arcs. A few original characters to steer the story and a reimagined Deceit with their own quirky role to play.





	1. The Dark Librarian

**Author's Note:**

> Call me Snail 🐌  
> I hope you enjoy my story

Music blasted through Virgil’s headphones as he finished piecing a gaming system back together. He was so used to doing this, he was certain he could finish the job with his eyes closed; not that his perfectionism would ever let him try. Checking the clock, he scribbled in his notebook to start working out the cost of his efforts.

 

“Hey Virgil?... Sparks!”

“I told you not to call me by my surname.” Virgil grumbled, pulling his headphones off as he turned to face his visitor.

 

A woman lent on the doorframe of the room, dressed in a light blue button up shirt and black slacks. Despite her hair being in a tight bun, a single strand hung loose near her face and she twirled it around her finger.

 

“What do you need, Katie.” Virgil swooped his bangs off his face and gave her a half smile. “You always twirl your hair when you need something.”

“Read me like a book.”

“We are in a library. Makes sense that I’m good at reading.” Katie was avoiding all eye contact and Virgil groaned, “Spill those feels, Reels. It will be time for my shift to start if you keep stalling.”

Katie let out a nervous laugh, “Yeah, about that.”

“What?” Nervous energy started to build in Virgil’s gut at Katie’s response.

“Look, I know you hate being out the front during the day, but I need you to take the afternoon shift.” Virgil fixed Katie with a tired look as she rambled on. “The main library got in a whole bunch of new reference books and they have all been entered into the system incorrectly, and Tia – that new librarian- tried to fix it herself, but ended up messing up the whole system, and now she’s freaking out and she called me in hysterics because no one can borrow and what is the point of a library if you can’t borrow an-“

“Woah, woah,” Virgil waved his hands out in front of him to silence the freaked-out librarian. “It’s fine, Katie. I can manage. It’s a Tuesday, nothing ever happens on a Tuesday.”

“I’ll make sure you get paid for the extra shift, and I’ll come and help you with your normal cleaning as soon as I’m done.”

“Whatever. It’s fine.” Virgil followed Katie out of the room, checking his keycard was in his pocket before closing the office door. “Message me if Tia screwed the computers up too much for you to handle.”

“You’re a lifesaver, Virgil.” Katie started racing towards the front door, before quickly turning to call back to him. “Oh, my brother Roman has booked the reading area at 4:30 and office 3 cancelled so it’s actually free.”

“Would you get out of here already, Reels.”

Katie flipped Virgil the bird before running out the wooden front door, leaving Virgil in the silence of the small, old library.

 

*********************************

 

As expected, the library was very quiet all afternoon. Virgil did his best to remain calm and come across as a professional as a few families came in briefly to borrow books with their small children. His ripped jeans and ‘Panic at the Disco!’ shirt didn’t really scream ‘librarian’ but his clothing options were very limited at the moment. Not that he liked to admit it, but Virgil had been living on friends couches and in his library office since he lost his university scholarship. Katie was well aware of what Virgil was doing, but feigned ignorance; Virgil would talk to her when he was ready.

 

“What’s up, Sparkles? Crawled out of your cave rather early today.” Virgil groaned at the sound of Roman’s voice, “Where’s Katie?”

Virgil tilted his head to the side and made sure Roman felt the full weight of the annoyance in his eyes. Katie’s use of his surname was in jest, a joke between coworkers and friends; Roman’s nickname always came across like an insult.

“Wow, touch-y.” Roman held his hands up in surrender, before readjusting his red and white jacket to appear more sincere. “Viiirgil, where is my delightful sister Katie?”

“There was a book emergency at the main library, so she went to help out.”

Virgil continued pulling books off the shelf to inspect them for damage, but Roman wasn’t moving on.

 

“Can I help you with something else?”

“Well I’m glad you asked,” Roman beamed and moved to lean on Virgil’s trolley. “Seeing as no one is in here, can I pl-“

“No.”

“Wha-?” Roman gasped as if he had been shot, “I didn’t even finish asking my question.”

“You didn’t need to.” Virgil returned a book and gave Roman a mischievous smile, “The answer is no.”

Roman stood up and let Virgil push the trolley back down the aisle and towards the main desk. For a moment he considered pulling the ‘My sister is your boss’ card or even turning on the waterworks for his deceased parents but decided against it. He didn’t know much about the mysterious worker, but he knew enough that power and sympathy would get him nowhere. Thankfully, Roman had one more trick up his sleeve.

 

Virgil watched Roman move the lounge and beanbags around the reading area to extend his floor space. Booking dance spaces was expensive and the library proved to be a cheap, but inferior, alternative. When Roman threw his jacket aside, revealing his tight black tank top, Virgil was quick to avert his eyes to prevent himself from being caught blushing at the sight. Turning back to the computer, Virgil started scrolling through the booking lists and checking that he still had permanent hold over office 2, before going into the system to look for overdue loans.

Humming pulled Virgil away from his thoughts and he saw Roman humming a tune to himself as he danced around the area. There was a slight vibrating sound and Virgil looked to the end of the bench and saw Roman’s phone sitting on a pile of books. Walking over, the screen was lit up as the phone vibrated for an alarm titled ‘music please Virgil’.

 

Roman paused mid step as the beginning of one of his dance pieces started to come through the overhead speakers, instead of Katie’s usual natural sounds.

“Thank you, Virgil!” Roman called as he re-centred himself and prepared to start his piece.

Shaking his head, Virgil retreated to the seclusion of the aisles to return more books to their shelves. Roman was annoying, but how could he deny the effort the guy had gone to. In all honesty, he was just glad to not have been yelled at or have someone demanding things from him. His opinion of Katie’s little brother shifted slightly in that moment and he couldn’t deny that Roman was truly a very talented young man.

 

 

*********************************

 

BANG

“Katie!”

BANG

“Roman!”

CLICK

Virgil’s heart was racing as he peaked out from an aisle and saw a man in a McDonalds uniform finish locking the front door and start running towards the back of the library. His brown hair was neatly styled, except for a few stray curls that sat on his forehead. He completely ignored Virgil, running straight for Roman and pulling him into a crushing hug.

“Roman, you’ve got to help me. I’ve done something terrible, horrible, unforgivable, utterly-“

 

“Hey!” Virgil’s loud voice echoed through the empty library as he disconnected Roman’s music and stared at the pair. “You can’t just come in and lock up the library. Who do you think you are?”

“Chill out, Vee. Patton’s with me.” Roman held his arms securely around Patton and looked down at him with eyes full of confusion and concern.

“Don’t call me Vee, and I don’t care if he’s with you or not, you can’t just lock up the library whenever you want.”

Virgil started to walk back towards the door and Patton cried out.

“Please, don’t unlock it. I-“

A loud bang on the door stopped Virgil in his tracks and Patton let out a squeak.

 

“ **Patton! Open this door immediately.** ”

The door shook as the person on the other side attempted to gain entry.

“Jeez, Pat, what did you do to him?”

“One guy is making all that noise?” Virgil asked as the banging and yelling continued.

Patton nodded and buried his face into Roman’s shoulder.

“I r-real-ly mes-ssed up, Ro. The b-bi-g-ge-ss-st m-m-mes-“

Patton could barely speak through his sobs and irregular breathing. Virgil had no idea what was happening, but he wasn’t about to find out what would happen if the guy outside got to Patton.

 

Virgil went to the desk and grabbed the keycard for office 3 and shoved it in Roman’s hand.

“Lock yourself in the office and put the dark screen up. I’ll handle this.”

“But Virgil, you don’t even know-“

“Just get him out of here before he passes out, ok!”

 

Roman saw the determination in Virgil’s eyes and questioned no more, quickly leading Patton through the library to the office at the back. Virgil did his best to compose himself as he approached the door, hoping his outer self appeared more intimidating than he felt.

“ **Patton! You need to come out here and face me, NOW!** ”

 

Virgil waited until he felt the man shift away from the door again before opening it. What stood before him was not the threat Virgil had pictured at all. Where he had imagined a heavily muscled maniac, a tall man in a white lab coat stood in his place. If it wasn’t for his red face behind squared, black glasses, and the way he quickly stormed passed Virgil, he wouldn’t have believed that this was the same person who had been trying to tear the door down.

 

“ **Where is he?** ” The man started marching down to the back of the library, glancing down the aisles. “ **I’m going to kill that sorry excuse for a friend so I can dissect and study the brain of that idiotic, pun-generating humanoid.** ”

“Jeez, dude, calm down.” Virgil called, as he attempted to catch up to the man after re-locking the door.

“Calm down? **CALM DOWN! My life is over. How can I be calm?”**

Virgil watched as the anger melted into sadness and the man clutched a warped laptop to his chest and slumped to his knees.

“He ruined everything.”

 

Despite squeezing them shut, tears still streamed from the stranger's eyes. Virgil felt the adrenaline of the situation begin to fade from his system, and his legs and hands shook slightly as a result. Squeezing his hands into tight fists to calm them, Virgil knelt before the man and made his voice calm and soft.

“I’m guessing this has something to do with that laptop.”

“Yes,” the man sniffed and pulled a handkerchief from his coat pocket to clean himself up. “Patton…knocked it off of the table at the lab.”

“You chased Patton here from the science labs?” Virgil questioned, surprised when a nod confirmed the distance the two had traversed.

“All my work was on this laptop. Everything…gone.”

 

Virgil had come across a few students over the years that had similar situations. He’d been given broken laptops, crushed USBs and smashed external hard drives. Everyone reacted a different way to the possibility of losing their data; though this was the first time he had seen someone hulk out over it.

“If you promise not to dissect anyone, I could have a look at it for you.”

“What? What can you do? It’s smashed.”

Virgil smirked as he reached out to carefully take the laptop out of the man's hands.

“You’d be surprised how tough some computers really are.”

“Well...um, thank you…”

“Virgil. Virgil Sparks.” He extended his hand out and offered a reassuring smile.

“Oh, um, I’m Logan Mars.” Logan shook Virgil’s hand and looked down in shame. “I’m sorry for my behaviour. I-it was incredibly uncalled for.”

“You’re right, but don’t sweat it. Come one,” Virgil stood and gestured to the offices, “let’s go check out this laptop, hey.”

 

Logan slowly followed Virgil to his office, suddenly very aware of the immaturity of his actions. He was thankful that Virgil seemed so forgiving, anyone else would have called security or the police on him. It dawned on Logan that if that had been the case, he could have lost his scholarship and then his life _would_ have been well and truly ruined.

“Thank you for not calling security.” Logan whispered as Virgil unlocked the office and started clearing the table of his work.

“Your welcome.”

“I’m serious. My behaviour was worthy of a call and that would have been the end of my time here. My scholarship would have b-”

“Lo, it’s fine.” Virgil finished boxing the gaming system and heaved it over to the corner of the room. “I wouldn’t jeopardise someone’s scholarship over a mental malfunction. I know what it’s like to lose everything over a simple mistake.”

“Pardon my question, but would you mind elaborating?”

Virgil let out a small chuckle as he searched through his boxes for tools and components for the laptop.

“I lost my scholarship due to a stupid mistake.” The look of sadness and curiosity in Logan’s eyes made Virgil nervous, but he continued. “I got into a fight in the middle of a lecture hall. Some moron made some…disgusting comments. I’ve spent my whole life being afraid to speak and listening to the shit people say about…”

Virgil couldn’t bring himself to say it. Shutting the closet door tight in his mind and quickly wiping a stray tear before Logan could see.

“Yeah, so, um… I decided to stand for what I believed in. Punches were thrown on both sides, but ultimately he ended up with a dislocated jaw and I ended up out of uni and out of money.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

 

Logan couldn’t think of what else to say as Virgil set to work, pulling apart the laptop to inspect the components. Clearly, Virgil was a very multilayered individual. Logan had only seen the surface of who he was, and he was already fascinated with who the man was and who he wanted to be.

He watched curiously as Virgil pulled out various handmade devices and connected wires expertly in the sea of electrical components. Given the anatomy of a living organism, Logan could identify parts and their purposes with ease; but the scene before him now meant nothing. People had called Logan a genius his whole life, but watching Virgil now made him feel like a toddler in a 10th grade math class.

 

“You are truly skilled in your field, Virgil. Are you taking classes elsewhere to hone your craft?”

Virgil laughed and turned to his own laptop screen, “I would need money to do that dude, and no one would give me another scholarship after losing my last one.”

“So, where did you learn to do this?” Logan gestured at the table before him.

“At the Sparks institute of trial and error. Taught myself most things and Google has taught me the rest.”

“Unbelievable. You’re a genius.”

“Ew, seriously Logan, stop.” Virgil moved to grab a USB from his bag and plugged it into his laptop, pulling up another program and adjusting a few wires. “What I do is nothing special. I just know how stuff works.”

 

Logan watched on in silence as Virgil continued. Clearly, he wasn’t going to take any of Logan’s compliments, and he didn’t give them out freely. The screen suddenly lit up with a document and Logan gasped and threw his arms around Virgil’s neck.

“You did it! You found it!”

“Ca-breathe.”

Quickly releasing Virgil, Logan apologised profusely for losing control of his emotions again. Virgil adjusted his shirt and fixed his hair as he set the computer to start copying the files across.

“You gotta settle down. I can’t guarantee that all your files are here, there is still a chance some of them are corrupted. I’ve got a program separating the corrupted files to a different USB and I’ll see what I can salvage and-“

Logan pulled Virgil into a hug, carefully this time. “Thank you so much, Virgil. If even half of my data and reports are safe, it’ll still be enough to show my professor.”

“I am not comfortable with this much physical contact with a stranger.”

Logan quickly let go and stepped back, “sorry. I, ah, went over the top again.”

 

“Logan?”

The pair turned at the whispered voice to find Patton standing at the door, Roman protectively close by.

“Patton.” Logan’s voice was calmer now and it sounded strange to Virgil to hear him say Patton’s name in such a way.

“I’m so sorry, Logan. You’ve told me so many times not to be silly in the labs and I let you down. I’m sorry, Logie. Please forgive me.”

“Patton,” Logan took a deep breath and massaged his eyebrows. “You almost cost me everything. Without this data I would have had an incomplete research task which could have jeopardised my time here. Thankfully, Virgil was able to salvage some of my research. I-I-I’m so angry at you right now.”

Logan was staring intently at the corner of the office, while Patton’s eyes never left his friend, even as they filled with tears.

“I don’t think I can stop being angry with you for a while.” Roman placed a comforting hand on Patton’s shoulder as he let out a sob at Logan’s words. “I accept your apology, but I’m not ready to forgive you yet. Do you understand?”

Logan finally looked at Patton as he posed the question. Patton nodded and looked shocked as Logan held out his arms for a hug. Never one to refuse a hug, Patton raced forward and buried himself under Logan’s coat.

Virgil watched on awkwardly at the exchange. His mind trying to piece together the relationship between the three people in the room with him. Roman looked at his phone and started rapidly tapping on the screen.

 

“I’ll make it up to you, Logan. I promise.” Patton managed to say, as his sobbing finally diminished. “You are my oldest friend and I would never purposefully do anything to ruin our friendship.”

“I know, Patton.” Logan looked over to Roman, who had just pocketed his phone. “Would you mind if Patton stayed with you and Katie for a while.”

“Wha-“ fresh tears started pouring from Patton’s eyes as he lent back to look up at Logan, but the man remained focused on Roman.

“Already organised, Lo.” Roman wrapped his arms around Patton’s waist from behind. “It’s ok, Pat. We’ve been meaning to spend more time together and Logan just needs some space.”

 

Virgil didn’t think it was possible for Patton’s eyes to get any wider, but they did as Roman slowly backed them out of the room. When the sound of the door closing echoed through the library, Logan’s shoulders slumped once again but this time no tears fell.

“I’ve known Patton since I was seven years old. He’s like a brother to me. It kills me to push him away like that.”

“Then why did you?”

“He needs to learn that there are times that I need to be taken seriously. Besides, he and Roman needed a good excuse to take their relationship to the next level.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, and I really hope you enjoyed it.  
> Feel free to pass on any feedback you have (as long as it is constructive). 💜🐌
> 
> Also, I’m on Tumblr.
> 
> I have a page for my art - [**@1-1snailxd-art**](https://1-1snailxd-art.tumblr.com/) 🐌
> 
> And one just for fun - [**@snail-giggles**](https://snail-giggles.tumblr.com/) 💜
> 
> Feel free to check either of them out if you want.


	2. The librarian in the closet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan wants to repay Virgil for his help with the laptop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the chapter 💜🐌
> 
> Also, I’m on Tumblr.
> 
> I have a page for my art - [**@1-1snailxd-art**](https://1-1snailxd-art.tumblr.com/) 🐌
> 
> And one just for fun - [**@snail-giggles**](https://snail-giggles.tumblr.com/) 💜
> 
> Feel free to check either of them out if you want.

Virgil had been at the library for three months, and in that three months it had never occurred to him that Roman was gay. Heat rose to Virgil’s cheeks as he pictured Roman dancing in the library, and he shook his head to erase the thoughts.

“Are you ok, Virgil?” Logan questioned, watching the other jolt out of their thoughts.

“Ah, I’m fine. A tad overloaded, but fine.” Virgil turned to check on the computers progress, eager to return to some normality after recent events. “It’ll take around 20 minutes for the files to finish copying. You’re welcome to use the kitchen at the back to make yourself something to drink while you wait. I’ve gotta get back to work.”

 

Virgil left the office, expecting Logan to head towards the back, so he was surprised to sense the man still following him.

“Um, the kitchen is that way.” He gestured to the room behind the reading area, but Logan shook his head.

“I would feel terrible if I were to sit and relax while you work. I did distract you from your usual tasks. Allow me to help.”

“That isn’t necessary,” Virgil started busying himself by searching through books on a random shelf. “I can handle everything. Tuesday’s are quiet and I can’t start the actual cleaning for another 40 minutes when the library officially closes.”

“Oh, well, um…” Logan knew nothing about the role of a librarian and didn’t want to cause any more trouble for Virgil. “Would you like something to drink while I’m back there?”

“Coffee, please. Black.”

“I’ll get right on it.”

 

Logan turned towards the kitchen, pausing in the reading area to lay his lab coat on the couch before continuing. Finally alone, Virgil lent on a support beam and allowed himself to relax. His hands trembled slightly, and he closed his eyes to try and steady his suddenly irregular breathing. In the span of 20 minutes he had gone from preparing to defend an acquaintance from a vicious deviant, to salvaging a ruined laptops data, to watching a friendship crumble before him. That was a lot of social events for one person to deal with in a short time span.

 

********************

 

The kitchen was set out for basic communal use. The fridge was covered in notices about an honesty system and ensuring money was deposited in the jar to cover the cost of what was used. Logan opened a cupboard to retrieve two mugs and set to making two cups of instant coffee. Curiosity itched at Logan, and he found himself opening and inspecting the contents of all the cupboards. Plates, platters, cutlery. The kitchen was clearly capable of presenting a large array of foods, though none could be cooked without a stove or oven. In the final cupboard, Logan was shocked to find a collection of old phone books.

“ _Odd place to store these._ ” Logan whispered aloud as he pulled one of the books out to inspect it.

He was shocked to find the space behind the books was full of instant noodles, granola bars and biscuits. Logan’s mind ticked over as he recalled the items in the office. Suddenly the number of boxes of materials and duffel bags in Virgil’s office appeared suspicious, and the hidden food had Logan questioning. He knew Katie and she was not the sort to eat food like that. Returning the book, Logan finished making the coffees and headed back to find Virgil.

 

“Virgil?” Pausing at the main desk, Logan was surprised to see the librarian on the floor behind the desk. “What is going on?”

Virgil had been so focused on trying to maintain control of his breathing, that he hadn’t heard Logan approach him.

“You’re shaking.” Logan dug into his jean pocket and pulled out a roll of candies. “Here, take one of these. I’ve found sugar helps in cases of many ailments, and I think it applies to your case.”

Gratefully taking the candies, Virgil felt his cheeks heating as he realised how close Logan was to him.

“Ahem, thanks.” Keeping his gaze low, Virgil tentatively stretched before attempting to stand.

“Was that a result of the overload you mentioned earlier, or something else?”

Virgil stared up at Logan before turning away, shaking his head and taking a sip of his coffee. “It’s nothing.”

“You’re a skilled person, Virgil, but lying isn’t one of your skills unfortunately.” Logan made no attempt to move as he watched Virgil’s back, carefully reading his body language. “Is there any way I could assist you with your predicament?”

 

Virgil almost choked on his coffee at Logan’s words.

“What are you talking about? Why do you care? You don’t even know me?”

The words came out harsher than he had intended, and Virgil was glad he still had his back to Logan.

“I understand that my earlier behaviour may have led you to believe otherwise, but I am a rather caring person. You come across as the sort of person who gives plenty to others and expects very little in return, which is what has led to your cur-“

“Stop. Please, just stop.” Virgil pushed away from the desk and headed back into the aisles of the library.

 

Logan didn’t follow. He merely watched the young man as he wondered the aisles, finding all manner of jobs to distract himself. It was like looking in a mirror, only when Logan had been avoiding all manner of help, he was younger than what Virgil was now. Taking a page from Patton’s book, Logan sat back and gave Virgil his space to process.

 

********************

 

Finally, a clock chimed, marking the closure of the library. Virgil jumped at the sound, realising that time had slipped away from him. After locking the front door, he headed back to his office to collect the USB for Logan.

The sound of a vacuum starting had Virgil scrambling to grab the USB as it jumped from his hand. Exiting the office, he found Logan was in the process of vacuuming the reading area.

“What on earth are you doing?” Virgil called over the sound.

Logan looked back and smiled at Virgil before returning to his work, until the vacuums power plug was pulled, and the library was plunged back into silence.

 

“Well that was incredibly rude,” Logan remarked, “I was working.”

“A, you don’t work here and B, here’s your USB.” Virgil tossed the drive to Logan and pointed towards the door. “You can go now.”

“Oh, I’m not going anywhere. I still have to repay you for your efforts.”

“You’ve already paid me. I asked you not to dissect anyone and you haven’t.”

“A service deserves payment. So, allow me to pay you, Virgil.”

 

“Logan? It’s great to see you.” Katie’s voice echoed from the front of the library as she locked the door and headed towards where Logan and Virgil were.

“Always a pleasure to see you too, Katie. How’s the main library?”

“Back on track now. Thanks for taking over, Virgil, but I can take it from here. You’re free to go home now.”

It suddenly occurred to Virgil that with Katie staying back to clean, he wouldn’t be able to stay, and he hadn’t arranged to stay with anyone else.

“Oh, um, yeah. Thanks, Katie.” He quickly went back to his office to start packing his things and make a plan for the evening.

 

“Roman filled me in on the afternoons events,” Katie commented as she took the vacuum from Logan’s hand. “Honestly, Lo, don’t you think you went a little overboard.”

“Considering my general demeanour, it would appear so, but I assure you it was entirely justified.”

“Sure, it was, sweetie. So, what do you think of Virgil?”

“What do you mean?” Logan squinted at Katie in confusion as he took in her mischievous look.

“You missed out on Professor Keils extra tutorial to hang out in a library. You’ve never missed a lecture or tutorial for anyone. So, what do you think of Virgil?”

 

Logan was at a loss for words as he considered why he _had_ stayed with Virgil. He needed the data from his laptop, that was important, but he didn’t have to stay to retrieve it. He could have gone to the tutorial and come back later to collect his things, there was no reason to stay. So why had he?

“I think he… is lost.”

“Sound familiar.” Katie smiled and pulled Logan into a hug. “I’ve given Virgil space, but I think he needs someone to give him guidance.”

“I hardly know him, and he sees me as a stranger.”

“Jason hardly knew you.”

“That was different. We were younger and Jason was-“ Logan choked on his words thinking of the person he had lost.

“Don’t over think it, Lo. Just act.”

 

“See you tomorrow, Katie.” Virgil called from the front as he left.

Logan looked down at Katie, who nudged her head to the side and mouthed “go”.

“You are a very manipulative and quick-witted woman.”

After planting a kiss of thanks on Katie’s forehead, Logan grabbed his coat and rushed out the door to catch up with Virgil.

 

“You’d be proud of him, Jason.” Katie spoke to the echoes of the empty library. “Admittedly, you would also be jealous, and a little concerned at how he reacted, but proud nonetheless.”

 

********************

 

Pulling his hood up to block out the evening breeze, Virgil headed down the road; his mind ticking through his possible options for the evening. So far, his best option was to find a place to chill until Katie finished at the library so he could return to do his usual process. The reading area couch wasn’t the most comfortable thing, but it was better than any outdoor options.

 

“Virgil!”

Logan’s voice snapped Virgil out of his thoughts, and he turned to see the man jogging towards him.

“You have a very swift walking pace,” he noted, quickly catching up to where Virgil had paused. “I never expected you to be so far away.”

“What happened to cleaning the library?” Virgil questioned, adjusting the straps of his backpack and duffel bag. 

“A, I don’t work there and B, I was only cleaning to repay you.” Logan mimicked Virgil’s earlier body language and noticed the slight smile pulling at the other's cheeks. “Can’t repay you if you aren’t there, so allow me to treat you to dinner instead.”

“Wha-What?” The duffel slipped off Virgil’s shoulder and hit the ground with a soft thud.

“Dinner.” Logan replied, reaching down to pick up Virgil’s bag, “The meal you eat in the evening.”

“I-I know what dinner is but-“

“Well then, let’s go. My car is on the other side of the University; it will be necessary to take you to make favourite restaurant.”

 

Patton wouldn’t approve of Logan’s methods; talking over Virgil and forcing the man to follow him as he walked away with his bag. Initially, Virgil didn’t move, stunned into silence, but he soon found his feet and was following Logan towards the University. The pair walked in silence, Logan slightly ahead and Virgil a step behind and trying to work out what Logan’s endgame was. He couldn’t work the man out and he seemed to be going to a lot of effort over repaying him for a simple data transfer.

Slipping his phone out of his pocket, Virgil quickly typed out a message to Katie.

 

**Virge** : _spill. What is this guys deal?_

**Reelest** : _what ever do you mean?_

**Virge** : _Im serious. Im currently walking the streets with a guy who was threatening to dissect someone earlier today._

**Reelest** : _Logan is harmless._

**Virge** : _what is his fascination with repaying me._

**Reelest** : _you just saved months worth of research for him. He’s grateful. Let someone do something for you for a change._

**Virge** : _I don’t know how I feel about this, Katie. This is all just so weird._

**Reelest** : _trust me, Sparks. Logan is a good guy. Relax and enjoy yourself. I expect pictures and for you to fill me in tomorrow._

**Virge** : _you’re acting like this is a date. This isn’t a date!_

 

Virgil sent the message but felt his breath catch in his throat. His mind raced with cruel thoughts and memories. The vibration of his phone pulled him back to the present, and he gasped; realising he had stopped breathing altogether.

 

“Are you ok back there?” Logan questioned, realising that Virgil had fallen more than a few steps behind.

“Um,” Virgil quickly cleared his throat and pulled his hood down to hide his face. “I’m fine. I was just distracted by my phone.”

“Well, we are almost there. Sorry I parked so far away.”

“No worries, it’s fine.”

Virgil looked down at the message in his phone and felt confusingly calmer.

 

**Reelest** _: don’t worry. Logan doesn’t date. I still want all the details though._

 

*****************

 

"Um, isn't the car park that way?" questioned Virgil, as Logan suddenly veered towards a nearby building.

"I need to collect my bag from the lab."

Pulling a keycard from his pocket, Logan let himself into the building and stepped inside; letting the door swing back to Virgil's outstretched hand. Virgil remained nervously in the entry as his mind reminded him of the furious man he had met hours earlier. He couldn't shake the feeling that he would do something wrong and make Logan just as mad at him.

 

Peering over his shoulder, Logan noticed Virgil's hesitation and decided not to push him to follow. His footsteps echoed through the halls as he headed up the stairs and swiped his card again to enter the first room on his left.

Sighing, Logan stood in the doorway and took in the mess that he and Patton had left behind. A microscope was still set up on a bench with a box of slides set out, Logan's notebook hadn't moved from where it had been laid open and was thankfully safe from the pool of coffee that had spread from a fallen mug. Wiping his hand down his face, Logan groaned at the reminder that he would have to clear the lab to ensure his access wouldn't be revoked.

 

"Honestly," Virgil suddenly appeared behind Logan, "I expected it to be worse."

Logan chuckled, "It seemed a lot worse to me at the time."

"Care to point me in the direction of a cloth or something. Cleaning is kind of what I do."

"No." Logan started walking to the storeroom to collect some supplies, "I'm the one repaying you, remember?"

Shrugging, Virgil hoisted himself up onto another bench and looked down at the laptop power cable snaked across the floor.

"I'm guessing Patton pulled your laptop down by the power cord?"

"Precisely," Returning, Logan dumped a handful of paper towel on the coffee spill to soak the liquid up. "He was practising some dance Roman had taught him when his foot snagged on the cord. I can't count the number of times I've told him labs weren't a place for dancing."

 “I imagine he’s not as graceful as Roman.”

Logan chuckled, “No, he isn’t. You watch Roman dance often?”

“Yea-no. Not rea-. Well…” Virgil stumbled over his words, thankful that Logan’s back was too him. “I usually -um- only see the end when I’m shutting up the library. I don’t, like, watch him or anything.”

 

Logan nodded and took no more than a side glance at Virgil. The man was on edge, barely able to keep still and there was a slight blush to his cheeks. He recognised that look and that talk. It was painfully familiar.

‘ _Katie said he needed guidance. Perhaps it is in more areas than I thought._ ’

Returning the microscope to the cupboard, Logan turned to find Virgil had packed his notebook and slides in his bag and was using a cloth to wipe the bench top down with disinfectant.

“You didn’t have to do that,” he commented, taking the supplies out of Virgil’s hands to return them.

“Annoying, isn’t it,” Virgil gave Logan a smug smile and picked up his backpack and duffel. “Can we get this dinner over with now so that we are all squared up.”

“Aren’t you enjoying my company?”

“No offence, or anything,” Virgil was working hard to come across as nonchalant and hide his true feelings. “I don’t enjoy the company of people in general.”

“Relatable.”

 

Logan strode out of the lab, leaving Virgil lingering alone for a moment.

‘ _Who on earth is this guy?’_

Virgil had never experienced anyone quite like Logan. It didn’t make sense that he could be irrationally emotional and quick witted one second, and then deadly serious the next. As Virgil caught up and continued to follow Logan out towards the carpark, he considered the way he was presenting himself.

‘ _Mentally unstable, antisocial, loner, computer freak. Why hasn’t this dude run for the hills yet?’_

 

“Here’s my car”

The lights of a scratched-up Honda Civic flashed as Logan unlocked the car. Considering how professional Logan came across, Virgil had pictured a modern, well-kept car. The grey machine before him was anything but well kept.

“You can put your stuff in the boot if you want.” Logan offered, placing his own bag in and walking around to the driver’s side.

Slamming the boot shut, Virgil slid into the passenger seat just and the engine spluttered to life.

 

********************

 

“So where is this elusive restaurant?” Virgil asked, glancing over and noticing how the streetlights reflected on Logan’s glasses.

“It’s on the east side. Considering how quiet it is on the roads right now, we should be there in 10 minutes.”

Virgil paled slightly, realising he would have to make the journey back to the library later. He only hoped the weather was on his side.

“I will of course be able to drop you back at your place afterwards,” offered Logan, quickly sensing Virgil’s discomfort. “I wouldn’t whisk you away and then expect you to find your own way back.”

“Oh, no. That’s fine. You don’t have to do that.”

“I know. But I will.”

 

Virgil turned to stare out the window, reassessing his plans. He couldn’t get Logan to drop him off at the library; that would scream “I’m homeless and illegally living where I work.” He instead settled on using his old address; it was only a 5 minute walk to the library from there.

 

For some, the silence of the drive would have been uncomfortable, but both Logan and Virgil found it comforting. They each had their own thoughts to process. Virgil focused on his housing dilemma and trying to understand Logan’s motives. While Logan on the other hand, was thinking about what Katie expected him to do and wondering how Patton was. The two were so different and yet shared much in common. Logan was starting to see it, but it would take time for Virgil to feel the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. This is a very long day for the pair, but they have a fair bit to talk about so... next chapter the evening continues.


	3. Librarians don't date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan takes Virgil out to dinner at the one place that serves great food, a surprisingly friendly face, and a topic Logan had forgotten he was avoiding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter introduces my Deceit inspired character. Their name isn't Deceit, they're not evil or manipulative. They are two-faced in a way, but honestly, they are just a sweetie.

As the car slowed, Virgil felt his mouth salivate as he recognised Julie’s Diner lighting up the corner of the street. He remembered visiting the diner regularly with his old roommate. It seemed so long ago, but it had only been a few months; that was long enough for him to miss the comfort of good food.

 

His mouth dried suddenly as Logan drove passed and turned the car down a narrow street and parked behind a foreboding black van.

“Couldn’t have chosen a brighter spot?” Virgil asked nervously, before quickly clearing his throat and trying to act more confident.

“Oh, sorry.” Clearing his own throat, Logan was embarrassed to realise how this could be perceived. “I always park here. I know the diner owner.”

“You know the owner?” Virgil exited the car, now eager again to get to the diner.

“Oh, yes. We met through… unfortunate circumstances, but that doesn’t diminish our friendship.”

“That’s… cool, I guess.”

The two walked around the corner and Virgil was once again salivating at the idea of having a full plate of food.

 

Logan moved to open the diner’s door and gestured for Virgil to step inside.

“Oh, I should warn you…”

Logan couldn’t finish his sentence before he was hit in the face with a cupcake.

The diner was silent, and Virgil stared at Logan in shock as he licked at the frosting on his face.

“That seemed a little over the top and Patton would be mortified to know you were wasting good cupcakes.”

“Jokes on you, Lo, that was one of the day olds.”

 

A woman walked over carrying a cloth and threw it at Logan’s face before bending down to collect the discarded treat. Though makeup covered her face, there was clearly some scar tissue marking her left cheek. Virgil was taken aback. He had seen the same scars on one of the other waiters during previous visits, and this woman was eerily similar to him.

 

“Waste is waste, Ellie.” Though he sounded annoyed, a smile pulled at Logan’s cheeks as he cleaned himself up.

“It was worth it, and you deserved it.” Ellie started walking back towards the counter, “I don’t see you in weeks and suddenly you’re kicking Patton out.”

“Exaggeration. Patton is staying with his boyfriend while I calm down.”

“Calm down or rebound?”

Ellie winked at Virgil and he felt his face instantly heat up. If it wasn’t for his bags being in Logan’s car, Virgil would have bolted from the diner immediately.

 

Logan groaned and threw the cloth at Ellie.

“First of all, Patton and I have never and will never date.” Ellie looked unconvinced by Logan’s statement. “And secondly, Virgil, this is Ellie. Ellie, this is Virgil. He saved my data today and I’m repaying him with dinner. Nothing. Else.”

Virgil waved nervously and Ellie suddenly softened as she took in Virgil’s demeanour.

“Sorry if I freaked you out, Virgil. It was all in jest. I promise.”

“It’s fine,” Virgil shrugged and glanced over to a booth in the far corner. “Can we sit or is it thrown cupcakes only today?”

Ellie nodded and quickly pulled out a notepad from her yellow apron.

“So, Virgil will have the works and the purple spider, and Lo you want your usual bowl and iced coffee?”

Logan nodded, while Virgil stared in disbelief.

“How did you know that?”

“Oh sweetie, I never forget a face.”

 

Ellie turned without another word and headed into the kitchen.

“What was that?” Virgil turned to Logan, still gobsmacked as they walked to the booth. “How did she…?”

“You’ve been here before, right?” Virgil nodded. “Ellie has an excellent memory.”

“But I’ve never seen her before. How does she know me?”

Sliding into the booth, Logan tilted his head to the side and looked at Virgil in confusion before suddenly registering what was happening.

“Oh, you have only met Ethan during your prior visits.” Noticing the look of confusion hadn’t left Virgil’s face, Logan continued. “Ethan and Ellie are one and the same. They are…fluid in their choice of gender. Um, bigender or gender-fluid, they fluctuate their gender and will adjust their name, pronouns and style to match how they feel.”

“Oh. I’ve never met someone like that before.” Virgil peeked out of the booth to glance over to where Ellie was mopping the entry. “How am I meant to talk to them?”

“The same way you have before. You talk to Ellie like she’s Ellie. The same way you would talk to Ethan like he’s Ethan. It’s rather simple.”

 

Shifting back into the booth, Virgil started tearing at a cardboard coaster to try and distract himself from the overwhelming embarrassment he was feeling. Logan acted like this was common knowledge, but it was all very foreign for Virgil. Growing up in a small town had sheltered him from many things and he was feeling the effects since moving away.

“So, Virgil,” Logan adjusted himself to take on a more relaxed pose. “Would you like to play a game?”

Pausing mid tear, Virgil looked up; raising an eyebrow at the man across from him. “What?”

“A game. It’s simple. I answer a question you have about me and then you answer my question about you. Fair?”

“Okaaaay.” Virgil eyed Logan curiously and dropped his hands into his lap; feeling the fear rise in his throat at the prospect of answering Logan’s questions.

“Very well. You may start. What do you want to know about me?”

 

The look on Logan’s face expressed confidence, but Virgil noticed something else in his eyes; fear. Logan was just as afraid as he was, and that made Virgil feel better.

“Where are you from?”

“The outskirts of Melbourne, Florida; not to be confused with the Australian city of the same name. You?”

“A small nowhere town. Population, of one school and one shared brain cell.” Logan looked slightly annoyed by Virgil’s vagueness, but didn’t pressure him to elaborate. “Why did you choose to move here?”

“My partner moved here to study and be close to family. I chose to follow after graduating high school. What are your reasons?”

“Scholarship. Is Patton your partner?”

 

A smile quirked Logan’s lip. Virgil was playing well to keep his responses short and quickly passing the questions on to him. Logan could recall playing in a similar fashion when he and Jason had played this game. Admittedly, this was a much nicer setting than the holding cell he and Jason had played in.

“No, he isn’t. Do you have a partner?”

“No.”

Virgil was annoyed that Logan started shortening his answers. He was hoping to get Logan to spend all the time talking to avoid facing his own questions. “What is your relationship with Patton then?”

“I told you, he’s a childhood friend. Do you have friends or family here?”

“Of course I have friends,” Virgil replied defensively. “Why did you move in with Patton if you had a partner here?”

“I did move in with my partner.” Logan smiled at the young waiter who placed their drinks on the table, before continuing, “Patton moved with me, too. We’re like family. What’s your connection with Katie?”

“She’s my boss.” Virgil sipped at his drink and caught Logan’s raised eyebrow. He decided to humour the guy on this fact. “I found the library during my first week here and used it to study. I became a regular visitor, booked the office out daily and stayed until closing most nights. I offered to help Katie clean up one night and she offered me a job.”

 

“Ok, ladies!” Ellie’s voice snapped the two back, and they both turned to the waitress. “Here’s the works for Virgil and Logan’s special bowl. Enjoy.”

Ellie gave Logan’s shoulder a friendly squeeze before heading back to the counter to serve another customer.

Virgil eyed the bowl in front of Logan. Salad filled one half of the bowl, while fries, meatballs, tomato sauce and cheese covered the other; finally, two toasted pieces of sourdough stuck out behind the salad.

“What type of meal is that?”

“Interesting choice of question, Virgil.” Virgil groaned at the smug look on Logan’s face. “It’s a deconstructed burger. Designed it myself. My turn to question, what do you hope to do now you believe university is out of the question?”

 

Chewing his burger slowly, Virgil considered Logan’s question carefully.

“I’m working to move elsewhere. Make a fresh start and keep doing freelance work until I build up enough of a portfolio of references to get a job that pays well. Once I’m out of debt, I’m out of here.”

Logan waited until he was halfway through his food before prompting Virgil.

“It is your turn to ask me a question.”

Virgil barely considered his question carefully; forgetting that whatever he asked would most likely be reflected onto him.

“Why did you choose to buy me dinner, instead of just paying me for saving your files?”

 

 Logan chewed slowly and considered his words. He feared saying too little would cause Virgil to go back to short answers, and too much could have the same effect or send him running.

"Because... You reminded me of someone I used to know." Virgil continued eating, which Logan saw as a sign he was on the right path. "I was intrigued by those similarities and wanted to get to know you better. I figured the best way to do that was to hang around, which inevitably led to dinner."

"Fair enough."

"Let's follow on from that." Virgil regretted shoving the final part of his burger in his mouth as Logan spoke. "Why did you agree to dinner instead of offering a set payment price?"

 

Virgil felt sick and suddenly his dinner didn’t taste as nice as it originally had. If it was socially acceptable to spit out your food and run, he would have done so; instead he was stuck in the booth with Logan still picking at his own food. The noise of the diner was drowned out by the sound of Virgil’s heartbeat, and it took an extreme amount of effort for him to swallow his food.

Logan focused on his own food, taking small glances up at the fragile figure opposite him. Despite being wrapped in a black jacket, he could see Virgil’s chest heaving rapidly and felt horrible for causing him so much distress.

 

“You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.” Though it was his own voice, Logan couldn’t help but hear Jason’s in his ears. “Your voice is your own and I cannot force you to speak, nor do I want to.”

It made no sense why Virgil stopped breathing. It made no sense why tears slipped from his right eye. It made no sense that Logan didn’t looked freaked out or repulsed by Virgil’s reaction.

Hands shaking, Virgil reached out for a napkin to wipe his face; keeping his head low. Neither moved to further the conversation, and Logan eventually pushed his empty bowl aside, pulled a pen from his pocket and started scribbling on a napkin.

 

“I got you some apple pie.”

Ellie’s voice was much quieter now, though her face was still bright and friendly. She slipped into the booth next to Logan and placed a plate in the centre of the table. The large wedge of pie was accompanied with cream, ice-cream and three sporks. Ellie immediately started helping herself to the treat.

“Thanks E. Please join us and enjoy yourself.” Voice thick with sarcasm, Logan pushed his work aside before reaching for his own spork.

“Don’t mind if I do.” Ellie giggled and glanced over at Virgil, who was now peering up at the two through his low hanging fringe. “Do you want some, Virgil? Aunt Julie makes these daily, so you know their fresh and good.”

After receiving only a shrug in reply, Ellie looked back to Logan; eyes begging him to start a conversation.

 

“So, how is Julie doing? I haven’t seen her in a while.”

“She’s doing ok.” A bell rang in the kitchen, but Ellie ignored it and scooped at the pie again. “She’s currently planning a special cake for the anniversary. Just seeking a distraction really. You know how she is.”

“Hm, I know what you mean.” Virgil noticed Logan staring sadly at the pie on his spork. “How are you feeling about it?”

Tentatively, Ellie traced her fingers over her scars before brushing her hair back behind her ears.  She looked at Logan through low lashes and gave him the smallest smile Virgil had seen the woman make so far.

“I think this year is my best year…I still miss him though. And the guilt, it just-“

“Ellie! Come on!”

The call of someone in the kitchen cut Ellie off and Logan put a supportive hand on her shoulder.

“It’s ok, E. I know what you mean.” Logan pulled Ellie close for a hug, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead as she pulled away. “You need to get back to work before Phil drags you back there.”

“Ok. Enjoy the pie, Virgil.”

Virgil nodded, but he was confused by the smile that stretched across Ellie’s face. She had looked so sad seconds ago, and yet was immediately happy again. He envied her ability to express and conceal her emotions so easily.

 

With his hands finally steadied, Virgil reached for his spork to taste the pie. The moment the sweet crust and apples entered his mouth, he regretted not eating it sooner.

“This is amazing,” he exclaimed, despite the food still in his mouth.

For a moment he forgot where he was and how he had been feeling. There was nothing but him and the food. Logan chuckled, but his heart was still heavy from his exchange with Ellie. There was a reason he hadn’t been to the diner, or even the library, in a while; he knew the anniversary was approaching and wanted to avoid the topic at all costs.

Virgil had almost finished off the plate before he was suddenly aware of Logan again. He didn’t know Logan’s history and Logan didn’t know his, but for reasons unknown, Virgil suddenly felt…comfortable. Maybe it was because he had watched his interaction with Ellie, or maybe it was the way he let Virgil know he didn’t have to speak. Whatever it was, Virgil scooped back his hair and looked over at Logan with sudden confidence and comfort.

 

“I don’t have many friends.” Logan was shocked by Virgil’s voice, but did well to conceal it from the other. “Never been very good at meeting the right kind of people. Clearly, I’m still not. I mean, I agreed to dinner with a guy who came bursting into a library wanting to dissect his roommate.”

Logan felt the heat of embarrassment flush his cheeks, but he smiled encouragingly at Virgil.

“I couldn’t work out why you were so invested in helping me. Why you cared. I guess, as scared as I was about going with you, I was still curious to learn more about you.”

“Do you regret that choice?”

“Hey, it’s my turn to ask a question not yours.” They both laughed and Logan gestured for Virgil to continue.

“I’ll humour you this time. No, I don’t regret it, but I do have one more question. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”

Logan nodded, “I accept the sentiment. Do go on.”

“Who do I remind you of?”

 

Logan chuckled and adjusted his glasses, using the moment to glance at the time on a nearby clock. The hour was early, but still late by Logan’s study schedule.

“I will gladly answer your question Virgil, but I would like to do it while we drive. I should really get you home, unless you would like to use my guest room.”

Virgil quickly shook his head; it was probably a bit too fast and Logan took note of it.

“Thanks for the offer, but I’d rather be home.”

 

Virgil slid out of the booth and followed Logan over to the counter, where Ellie quickly appeared.

“Nice gloves,” Logan commented as Ellie pulled off her bright yellow rubber gloves.

Ellie playfully threw them at him, “jealous because you can’t pull off the yellow as well as I can?”

“Not at all.” Logan place the gloves down, slipping some notes inside, and pulled out his card to pay for dinner. “I would never try and imitate your signature colour.”

“Did you enjoy the pie, Virgil?” Ellie beamed at the man while her hands skilfully rung up the bill.

“I did. Thanks for that.”

“No worries at all sweetie.” She handed Logan back his card before leaning on the counter to get closer to Virgil. “If you are ever in the area again and want a freebie, come and see me. The day olds aren’t just for throwing.”

“Sure.” He quickly averted his eyes but couldn’t stop the smile that spread across his face. “Thanks, Ellie.”

“Hope to see you both soon.” Ellie called as they left.

 

The night air was fresh and cool as the pair headed back to Logan’s car. Virgil’s mind was ticking over, recalling the waiter Ethan and imagining him saying the same things Ellie had said. He didn’t understand how they made him feel so special despite their different appearances and voice. He recalled the way Logan had spoken to him throughout the evening, but dark thoughts invaded his mind again and he shook his head to clear them and focused on where he was going.  If a genie were to appear before him right then, Virgil would have wished to erase those thoughts from his mind. He was tired of their constant reminders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter. I know this story is slooooow, but honestly it feels right. This isn't a real high paced action adventure, obviously, and I'm trying to make it feel as real as possible (just a sprinkling of my real-life experience tossed in).
> 
> What do you think of Ellie|Ethan?  
> Different from Deceit AU characters I've read before (though if you have some recommendations of good AU's with a Deceit character with depth, I am all ears. There's only so many 'mean' stories one can read before you get tired of them). 
> 
> Next chapter will be a week or two away. I've got reports to do for work and a fun health mystery to solve (yay!).  
> The next chapter will focus on Roman and Patton. There will be a bit more Logan and Patton background story, as well as more hints on Jason (bless his mysterious little heart). Let me know if there are any BIG questions you have, and I’ll try to make sure those plot points have a bigger focus. I know I’ve hinted to a lot of things, but that’s the mystery writer in me. Sorry.


	4. Leaving the Library

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman and Patton’s relationship may be new, but Patton is more important than he realises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was meant to be longer, but I decided to split it because my mind just got stuck on an event. If you want to know what’s been happening, check the end notes (or don’t...I don’t mind)
> 
> Enjoy 😊

Backing away from the library office, Roman did his best to keep up his strong and supportive facade. He needed to be Patton’s rock in this situation; and he wasn’t about to let his worry leach out and distress the man he loved any further. 

 

********************

 

Roman and Patton had only been officially together for six months, but they had known of each other years prior. Jason used to speak highly of the energetic man who his partner lived with. There was a time when Roman was sure Jason was making things up. It seemed impossible that someone existed who was so kind, accepting and comfortable with themself; aside from Jason. Not long after Jason had moved in with Roman and Katie, he shared photos of him, Logan and Patton with Roman. If 'love at first sight' were real, Roman got hit hard.

 

"You're blushing, Roman." teased Jason, laying his hand over the photo. "Do you like what you see?"

"What? No!" Roman quickly averted his eyes and tried to stop the heat rising in his cheeks.

"Roman," tone suddenly serious; Jason rested a hand on Roman's shoulder. "You don't have to hide anything from me, remember?"

 

A few silent breaths later and Roman nodded, and Jason let his hand drop as Roman turned to stare out the nearby window.

Of all the people in Roman's life, Jason truly was someone who he didn't have to hide from. Jason announced that he was gay during a family Christmas when Roman was 10 years old. Sure, the family reaction wasn't the most welcoming or kind, but over time they accepted Jason for who he was. He paved the way. He took the hits, the hurt, the shame. He cleared the path of homophobia in the family; but that didn't make it any easier on Roman. Despite knowing that his family would accept him, just like they accepted Jason, he wasn't ready to say it out loud.

 

Roman hung his head down low as he realised how selfish he was being.

“You’re ok, Ro.” Jason rested a firm hand back on Roman’s shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. “There’s no shame in having feelings.”

 

In that moment, Roman wished he had long bangs to cover his eyes as he chanced a look up at Jason. Though he had just turned 18, Jason’s maturity outshone that of many older adults Roman had met. Behind those rich brown eyes, was the soul of a man that had been beaten and was determined to make sure no one else suffered alone.

Tears began to well in Roman’s eyes and Jason wasted no time, pulling his cousin into a secure embrace and refusing to let go as Roman’s shoulders shook with the emotional release.

 

It was just a photo. It was just a feeling. It was ok, but it still felt wrong. Regardless of Jason’s assurance, Roman couldn’t help but feel shame. He could remember how people spoke about Jason. He could recall the looks of disgust his uncle gave when backs were turned. The side comments and remarks that Roman picked up on regularly.

Strangely, even now, Roman could  hear his late father’s disapproving voice. Though he’d never heard his father directly speak ill of Jason, he had also never stopped it. In Roman’s mind, that fuelled his belief that his parents would disown him, had he admitted his feelings prior to their passing. There would never be a way of truly knowing, and so Roman’s mind supplied many possible reactions.

 

“I. Ju-t. H-h-hate m-my ss-ss-ff.” Roman was barely audible as he tried to speak through hiccupping breaths. Desperate to get his bottled feelings out and feel some form of relief.

“I love you, Roman.” Jason assured, grip never faltering as Roman sobbed. “Even if you don’t feel like you can love yourself, I will love you. Just for being you. Don’t forget that.”

 

Tears of anger slipped from Jason’s own eyes. He had hoped that his coming out and openness would have prevented this sort of thing from happening to anyone else in his family. Unfortunately though, he couldn’t change society. He had held many people like this over his short life. His clothes soaked in tears of fear and shame from those on similar journeys of self-discovery. But holding Roman right now, hurt the most. Feeling his fear and shame soak into his navy button up shirt was like being shot at close range. He couldn’t spare Roman from the pain; despite everything he had done.

“I'm sorry I couldn’t protect you.” Whisper barely audible, Jason squeezed his eyes shut and refused to let go until he felt Roman’s breathing return to normal.

 

 

 

It was two weeks later before Roman said the words out loud; admittedly it was a whisper.

_I’m gay._

Jason reached under the table to take Roman’s hand as they waited for Katie’s reaction. Fork full of pasta halfway to her mouth, Katie simply raised an eyebrow in confusion at her little brother.

“Care to say that again, Ro. My hearing ain’t what it used to be.”

Roman sighed, squeezing Jason’s hand for support before repeating himself.

“Katie, I am gay.”

“Ok.”

“I’m sor- What?” Now it was Roman’s turn to stare in confusion. “Ok? What do you mean ‘ok’?”

“Ok, an expression used to express agreement and or acceptance. Get a dictionary, Yo-Yo.” Katie shoved the food in her mouth and gave the two a mischievous smile.

At the mention of his childhood nickname, Roman scowled. “Is that all you have to say about this? Seriously!”

“Duh.” Katie put her fork down and licked the splattering of pasta sauce off her fingers. “What were you expecting? Me to yell? Scream? Kick you out? Throw a bible at you? What?” Roman stared blankly, lost for words. “You are still my brother, you idiot. One little word isn’t going to change that. You gotta try a bit harder if you want to get rid of me.”

“Well…” Finding his voice again, Roman felt a small weight slip from his shoulders. “What would I have to say to get rid of you?”

“That you despise Disney or musicals are the worst type of theatre.”

Tears welled in Roman’s eyes, despite the smile that spread across his face. “I would never say those things.”

“Guess you are just stuck with me then. Sucks to be you.” And with that, Katie stood and walked into the kitchen.

Jason ruffled Roman’s hair before reaching out to clear the table, ducking out of the way just as a box of tissues was thrown from the breakfast bar and hit Roman in the chest.

“That could have hit my face!” Jason yelled as he headed toward the culprit in the kitchen.

“Shame it didn’t. It could have made an improvement.”

 

Roman wiped his eyes as he listened to Katie and Jason in the kitchen. It wasn’t the coming out that had plagued his dreams for months, but it was his. He would never know how it would have gone if his parents were still around, but he could deal with that. Katie and Jason were his family now, and their opinion was all that mattered.

 

From that moment on, Roman promised himself that he wouldn’t hide anymore. There wasn’t a need to. As long as he had a home to return to, nothing else mattered. It made moving forward easier.

 

 

********************

 

 

It broke Roman's heart to have a silent Patton in the passenger seat of his car, as they drove to his house. Every glance to the side made him want to pull over and scoop the other into his arms and squeeze away his pain. The couple had walked in silence to Roman's old red Nissan; Patton keeping Roman's hand in a vice grip. Patton's eyes remained glued to the ground as Roman unlocked the car and opened the door for the other to flop inside. Neither muttered a word. Patton too emotionally numb to speak, and Roman to afraid to disturb the silence.

 

Slowing down for a red light, Roman took a chance and rested is hand on the centre console. Driving an automatic car had its advantages, despite what everyone else had told him. Roman wasn't lazy; he thought he was quite innovative. Automatic vehicles only require one hand to operate, meaning the other could be used for other activities. In this case, hand holding.

Time seemed to stretch on, and Roman's hand remained untouched. The light turned green and Roman was about to return his hand to the wheel when Patton finally took hold. Chancing a glance, Roman saw Patton's glistening eyes looking back; the smallest smile lighting his face. In that moment, Roman knew Patton would be ok.

 

 

********************

 

“No arguments, you are to go have a shower and climb into that onesie I always bring to movie nights.”

Roman pushed Patton towards his bedroom and continued towards the living room, tossing their bags in a pile near the dining table.

“But it’s your-“

“I believe I began my last statement with ‘no arguments’.” Roman called over his shoulder as he switched on the tv and started pulling blankets out the storage ottoman in the centre of the room.

 

Sighing loudly, Patton wandered into Roman’s room and stood in front of his mirrored wardrobe doors. It made sense why Roman was being so pushy , considering how red and puffy Patton’s eyes were from crying. He was still in his McDonald’s uniform; skin slick with the thin layer of grease from working around the fryers. It wasn’t the best job but tutoring primary school students wasn’t enough to pay his bills.

 

“Chop, chop, Pat!” Roman’s voice echoed down the hall, “I want to hear that water running.”

“You sound like a parent.” He called back, opening the wardrobe to search for Roman’s Stitch onesie. “I’m older than you, remember.”

There was no reply, so he continued to carefully push Roman’s formal clothes aside to reach the onesie hanging in the centre. Careful not to let it touch his own clothes, Patton opened the door to the bathroom in Roman’s room and was greeted with the face of his partner on the other side of the room.

 

Roman lent in the opposite doorway that connected to the spare room, one outstretched arm holding a folded towel with a single Hershey’s kiss chocolate on top.

“Age is just a number, my dear.” Roman grinned as he saw Patton’s face light up as he entered the room. “Everyone needs a little pampering every now and then. Let me look after you for a change.”

“Do I really have a choice?” Patton questioned as he put the onesie down and eagerly grabbed the chocolate.

Roman giggled at the speed that Patton unwrapped the chocolate; setting the towel down on the bench and turning to wrap his arms around Patton’s waist.

“Not today, Pat. Now,” The two locked eyes and Roman stifled a laugh looking at Patton’s puffy cheek filled with chocolate. “Shower and relax. I’ll order pizza and set up the lounge room for a movie. If you want to talk, we will talk. If you want to cry, I will hold you until you stop. Heck, if you want to act out Toy Story word for word, I am totally down to do that.” Patton giggled at the idea, feeling happy tears start to build in his eyes. “I’m here for you tonight. Okay?”

Patton nodded, closing his eyes and letting a single tear fall. Supportive arms squeezed him tight before Roman lent back and placed a soft kiss on Patton’s forehead.

“You taste like fries.”

Patton laughed and pulled Roman close again so their lips could touch for a brief kiss. “You taste like strawberries.”

“Ok, ok, no more stalling, sweetness.” Though Roman would have loved to continue, “shower time now.”

 

Patton grinned as Roman shut the door to his room, before slowly backing out through the door he came in through. He was lucky to have someone like Roman in his life. Though he loved Logan with all his heart, he could never handle Patton’s emotions as well as Roman could. It wasn’t Logan’s fault, he still struggled with recognising and regulating his own feelings. Roman on the other hand, had experienced so many emotions in the past 6 years alone, and was now very familiar with recognising and dealing with his emotions. As the warm water touched his skin, Patton felt his muscles relax briefly before his mind started to race through the afternoons events.

 

Talk, Patton decided.

He had his time in silence, but now it was time to talk.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. Sorry this was a disappointing chapter. I just needed to get it out to feel some form of success.  
> I will get better...I promise. 
> 
> Read below at your own risk if you want to know what has been happening lately. I’m ok now...if that helps 🙂  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> So, I planned this fic after I fell/fainted during a running race and smashed my head on the ground. I probably had a mild concussion, but whatever.  
> This led on to my random hand shaking increasing to a daily occurrence and I was also experiencing dizzy spells.  
> Boy was my Dr confused.  
> So, I eventually got told I was iron deficient, but she wasn’t sure why because other levels were coming back normal. I had a heart monitor strapped to me for 24hrs to test that.  
> While all that was happening, I had to write my reports and that just adds to my normal stress levels.  
> Basically, I was a fatigued, stressed, anxious, shaking zombie for over a week. When the week finally ended, reports done, the end in sight; I got the call that my cousin passed away...her 3year fight with cancer had proved too much for her body to handle and she slipped away.  
> I was devastated, but still had work and Drs appointments so I stayed where I was and planned my travel to see my parents and then fly to see the rest of the family. It was during that week that I got told that my full diagnosis is “You are anxious, stressed, iron deficient and just generally burnt out. You need a holiday before this gets worse.”  
> Then the cherry fell on top...someone read my cousins private messages to me. I had come out to her...they gave the messages thumbs down. It was a simple thing, but it was enough to send me spiralling back into a dark place of hate and nightmares..... but I’m on the other side now though. Funeral over. Travelling home. I’m ready to find my normality again. Fingers crossed I find it quickly.
> 
>  
> 
> If you read this far; thank you, and I hope all is well with you. Writing to vent is very therapeutic and the more I write about what has been happening lately, the better I feel. If you need an ear to talk to ... I’ve got two of them. Happy Timezone 🙂


	5. I lost my friend in the library

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patton admits his greatest fear; Katie reveals what is behind her sassy exterior; and Logan and Virgil are finally driving somewhere.

“You should have seen his face after the laptop hit the ground. I haven’t seen that shattered look since…since...”

Patton couldn’t bring himself to finish his sentence. Laying against Roman’s chest on the couch, Patton had already filled Roman in on how he had accidentally pulled the laptop down. Now, Roman was gently stroking Patton’s hair as the credits for ‘Brother Bear’ ran on the tv screen. Roman made no attempt to prompt Patton to continue, listening solely to the other’s breathing and making sure his own remained steady.

He used to find himself in Patton’s position often, though it was Katie or Jason that he was leaning against. The subtle stroking of hair and faint background noise was just what he needed to find and express how he was feeling.

 

"It just feels like every time we get close to returning to normal, I mess something up."

Roman felt Patton's body tense up and Patton finally said his greatest fears out loud.

"I'm a bad omen, Roman. All I do is mess up Logan's life. You should leave me before I start messing yours up too."

"Hey, no, no, no"  
Roman wished he could pull Patton closer, but he was already squeezing him as tight as he could without causing any harm. There was so much guilt and pain pent up inside Patton's small body; though he rarely showed it.

"You are not a bad omen, Pat... It's ok. I'm not going anywhere."

 

Roman was so focus on trying to calm Patton's sobs, that he didn't hear Katie enter.

 

 

*************

 

The library didn't need much cleaning thanks to Virgil's relentless tidying during his prior shift. All it took was a quick vacuum and Katie was satisfied enough to set the alarms for the night. She was eager to get home and check on her boys after the day they had. Roman had passed on what he knew earlier, and Ellie had been messaging her ever since Katie tipped them off that Logan may have been heading their way.

It was all intuition. Logan had been avoiding all ties to Jason since the anniversary loomed over the horizon; but Katie had a feeling that Julie's Diner would be a comfort he would seek.

 

**E:** They just left. Virgil seems nice.

**Reelest:** Virgil is a good kid. How was Logan?

**E:** Hes Logan. Im sorry katie. Im not good at reading him.

**E:** our conversation got cut short.

**Reelest:** How are you doing? Really?

**E: *seen***

**Reelest:** e?

**Reelest:** Ellie?

**Reelest:** Ethan?

**E: *seen***

 

Katie sat in her car and contemplated driving to Julie's Diner to check on her young friend. She almost threw her phone when it loudly chimed for an incoming call.

"Do you need me to come over?" Katie immediately asked, desperate to be the supportive force she had become.

" _Sorry, Katie. I just needed a moment to properly process your question_." Ellie's voice cracked slightly, but otherwise was void of emotion.

"Don't apologise. Just tell me what you need."

" _You shouldn't be helping me, though. Jason was your family. I should be the one working to comfort you; not the other way round._ "

"Who says what we should or shouldn't be doing. Screw that. If I went about doing what I should be doing, I wouldn't have raised Roman alone. I wouldn't have taken over the library. I wouldn't have connected with your family, which means I wouldn't have eaten for those first few weeks after Jason's death."

Katie paused and listened to Ellie's breathing on the other end of the line, patiently waiting for her words to sink in.

" _I still feel guilty. Heck, I don't think I will ever stop feeling guilty, but... I think I understand. Thank you, Katie._ "

"You are most welcome. With that out of the way, what do you need?"

"... _I think I'm... good for now. Seeing Logan was nice though. Do you think everyone would be up for a meeting before the actual anniversary?_ "

"Absolutely. Pitty picnic party?"

" _Please. Can we have it on Friday, in the library? I’m working flat out every other day this week._ "

 

Katie was about to agree when her mind flashed to Virgil. He had taken on all but two cleaning shifts, and she was sure he was just about living in the library full time. She didn't want to take his figurative home for the evening, but at the same time she knew they were all in need of a good debrief before the weekend.

 

"Friday sounds great. I'll let the others know."

" _Thanks again, Katie. I should get back to work. This talk really helped though._ "

 

Driving home, Katie turned the music as loud as her speakers allowed her to; belting out her favourite songs as tears streamed down her face. She had to be the face and voice of reason, but alone in her car she could truly be herself. The sad and terrified girl she never got to be. When her parents disappeared, Katie was 21 and immediately put aside her dreams of travelling to look after her 14-year-old idiot of a brother. She was thankful when Jason graduated high school the following year and moved in with them. It meant there was someone else who could be the strong face when she felt broken. Someone else for Roman to turn to, and even someone she could use when she just wanted to talk.

Stopping at a red light an electronic noticeboard flashed the current temperature and date.

" _Almost two years, Jason._ " she thought, leaning her head back against the car seat as 'Stand by you' by Rachel Platten started playing.

Katie laughed and wiped at her eyes, knowing she would be home soon.

"You can be pretty sick and twisted universe." she said aloud to no one in particular, before she joined in to sing the lyrics the rest of the way home.

 

By the time she had the car parked and headed to the apartment building, Katie felt better. Anniversaries, be it her parents or Jason's, were never going to be easy; not that she'd ever let Roman see just how hard they were on her.

 

 

*************

 

Katie had expected to find Patton and Roman on the couch, but she hadn't expected to see Patton sobbing uncontrollably in Roman's arms. Quickly taking in the barely touched pizza sitting on the ottoman, Katie went straight into the kitchen and grabbed three popsicles from the freezer.

Roman didn't notice Katie until she walked in front of the pair.

"Alright, sit up boys."

Roman hated how much Katie could sound like his mother when she wanted; but she was immediately his sister again as she threw a popsicle at him the moment the pair had straightened.

"Truth time, Pat, have you eaten properly today?"

Arms wrapped tightly around his middle and hiccupping, Patton shook his head. Suddenly Roman felt very guilty for not noticing sooner. Though Patton had eaten the chocolate earlier, he hadn't touched the pizza at all; which was a clear indication that he wasn't in the best head space.

"Suck on this," Katie handed the unwrapped popsicle to Patton, who slowly started sucking it obediently. "Now, listen to Mamma Kay very carefully. Logan is fine, and you know he loves you in ways no one else will ever understand."

Patton nodded but kept his head bent low. Katie glanced up at Roman who was holding up his phone with the words 'bad omen' typed on a notes page. Phone messages were how the siblings use to insult each other behind their parents’ backs, but it was now proving to be a helpful tool as Katie quickly joined the dots.

 

"Pat, do you remember the day we first met in person?" Patton nodded, sobbing settling the longer he was distracted by the frozen treat. "Remind me what happened that day."

"imsmavmdyoufonacar."

"Wanna try that again so I can actually hear you." Katie bit into her popsicle, causing Patton to cringe as he looked up from his own.

"I saved you from getting hit by a car." Roman climbed over the back of the couch to grab a box of tissues, thankful that Katie was helping keep Patton calm.

"That you did. Learnt my lesson to never try and impress others by wearing unfamiliar heels out in the streets."

Roman laughed as he jumped back onto the couch, "you always walk like a baby giraffe in heels."

Shooting Roman a look, Katie kept her voice calm for Patton. "And what happened on Roman's 17th birthday party?"

"I fixed the cake after the icing melted when the fridge broke down."

 

A smile spread across Patton's face at the memory of Jason freaking out in the kitchen and Katie screaming into the phone for an electrician. A warm arm wrapped around his shoulders as Roman settled back into a comfortable position; placing the tissue box between them, before  leaning back to finish his popsicle. Breathing finally fully under control, Patton lent back and allowed himself to lean into Roman's hold.

 

"That was a really good cake too," Roman commented, before placing a kiss on to Patton's head; curls tickling his nose as he did so.

"It looked like unicorn vomit before Patton got to it," Katie mused, chewing the final remains of her popsicle. "and let's not forget what you did for Logan the other week."

"Oh, yeah," Roman laughed, wooden popsicle stick hanging from his mouth, "I'm sure Spec's was freaking out when he got to the lab and found his notebook missing. If you hadn't of recognised it on the footpath, who knows what would have happened."

Katie was glad to see the smile spreading to Patton's eyes as he continued to lick is now melting popsicle.

 

"Are you getting the picture, Patton?" pushing herself off the ground, Katie threw herself up onto the couch to sit on the other side of Patton. "One mistake can't outweigh all the good you do. You're a good person, Pat."  
"And don't you dare forget it again."

Patton turned his head to smile at the Reels siblings; their presence and kindness pushing his dark thoughts to the back of his mind. As much as he wished Logan was in the room with him too, Patton could live with that empty feeling for the moment; Katie and Roman were good substitutes for now.

 

*************

 

The drive started in silence. Virgil watched the streetlights reflect on the windscreen and listened intently to the smooth jazz Logan had on the radio.

“How old are you exactly, Virgil.” Logan’s voice was level and calm, “I recently turned 23 if that makes you feel more inclined to share.”

“Oh, um, 19 going on 20.” Virgil shifted in his seat slightly embarrassed, “I finished school a year later than most.”

“When I was 7, Patton was the new kid at my school. He became my best friend and we helped each other through everything the world threw at us. It was our Freshman year when Patton came out as gay and despite everything that happened, I was still proud to call him my friend.”

“What happened?” The words slipped out of Virgil’s mouth before he could register what he had said; thankfully Logan took it in his stride.

“People can be cruel sometimes, Virgil. They make assumptions and roll with them. Despite being in a relationship with a woman, rumours spread that I was Patton’s partner. I thought nothing of it until my parents confronted me and told me I needed to cut all ties with my friend to prove I wasn’t gay. They threw me out when I refused.”

 

Virgil clenched his fists and stared down at his feet in anger and sadness.

“Why would they do that if you weren’t gay? Why couldn’t they just believe you?”

“They had a reputation and they felt the rumours were damaging it. I moved in with Patton and his family after that. It was a dark time for me. I broke up with my girlfriend and buried myself in school, work and sports. I only saw Patton when I came home. I’m ashamed to say I avoided him at school to spare myself the ridicule.”

“That sucks.”

“It did, and for a while that was my life. School, work, sport, avoid Patton, repeat. Then Jason found me ... Um, outside of the local library.”

“Jason? Who’s that?”

Virgil realised he wasn’t being fair to their game, but he didn’t care. He needed to know.

“He was a junior. Top of his class for literature, but terrible in all other areas. He was the man to beat on the track. I’d watched him train many times but never had the courage to approach him. His confidence scared me.”

“That’s relatable.” Virgil chuckled to himself and then realised Logan was looking at him. “I mean-“

Now it was Logan’s turn to laugh as he returned his eyes to the road. “I know, Virgil. That is why you remind me of myself.”

 

The car slowed as Logan neared the address Virgil had given him.

“What do you mean I remind you of you?”

“Those were dark times for me. I didn’t want to be around anyone, and I certainly didn’t want to share my problems with anyone. Honestly, if my parents kicking me out hadn’t of been so public, I would have preferred to stay on the streets than accept Patton’s help. My feelings and troubles were my own and I wanted them to stay that way.”

Logan’s eyes remained straight ahead, despite pulling over outside a block of units. Virgil stared at the other, his mouth going dry.

“I didn’t want anyone’s help, but I needed it. When Jason... tumbled into my life it was weird, but he was just the person I needed to set me back onto the right path.” Logan turned and looked at Virgil, his eyes soft and void of the pity Virgil was sure would have been there. “Do correct me if I am wrong, but I think you are in a dark place too, Virgil. One similar, yet very different from my own. Jason helped me, and I will be forever grateful of his support. Should you need a guide to find your path again, I would be happy to provide the service.”

 

Silence filled the car, despite the engine running and the radio still humming away. Neither moved. Logan too scared to move in case he upset Virgil, and Virgil too stunned to move an inch. He was overwhelmed with emotions, ranging from fear, to sadness, to anger and he didn’t know how to process everything. Somehow, this stranger had spent a few moments with him and broken him down so perfectly. He was angry at himself for being so readable, and afraid of how the world had been perceiving him this whole time. Finally, the weight of it all crashed down, and Virgil was quickly unbuckling his seatbelt and climbing out of the car.

Logan sighed, fearing the worst as he popped the boot to allow Virgil to retrieve his things. By the time he climbed out of the car, Virgil had his bags on, hood pulled low and was already walking up the street towards his former building.

Knowing it was best not to linger, Logan got back into his car and drove away. Virgil was thankful to watch the car lights disappear and turned away from the buildings to head in the direction of the library. Hot tears ran down his face, drying and cooling on his cheeks as he walked.

“ _I want help, Logan._ ” He whispered to the night, “ _but I’m too afraid to accept it from you._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, my name is Snail and I finally finished this chapter  
> *band music playing*  
> I was stuck for a looong while, so I ended up writing a 'flashback' chapter that was really messing with me and then came back to the current story. I think I just needed to see a key event in words before I could keep moving on. 
> 
> Also, I got an idea for another fic that people on Tumblr seem interested in. I'm not leaving this behind (EVER), but this other fic may be an outlet for when I need a break from real life and want to dive into fantasy. Having a fantasy WIP may also help me delete the random dark paths that I had for this fic. LAFM wasn't meant to be dark, just angsty relationship building, love and acceptance...with a few punches thrown in.


	6. The art of living in a library

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Despite the unusual evening, Virgil's morning is very routine as he continues his life as normal. Logan and Patton, on the other hand, are finding out what it is like to be separated from your closest friend when you need them the most. (Lots of Royality and platonic Logicality energy)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey 👋 so this chapter includes a link to some art done by @the-pastel-peach on Tumblr (I’ve included the link where it says *image sent*). Now, please please please do not repost this art. This means, do not COPY and PASTE (or screenshot) it onto your own post on any social media channel.  
> If you like the art, reblog the Tumblr post. Don’t have Tumblr? Share the Tumblr page link on other socials. Just please don’t repost. Respect the artist and give them the love and appreciation they deserve. 
> 
>  
> 
> Also, there is an Easter egg in the picture. I asked Peach to hide a Snail in the image. Have fun finding it 😊🐌

Virgil’s alarm sounded at 4am, the screen barely lighting the reading area as he opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling.

 

_“Do correct me if I am wrong, but I think you are in a dark place too, Virgil.”_

 

Sitting up, he ran his fingers through his oily hair as Logan’s voice replayed in his mind.

 

“ _Should you need a guide to find your path again, I would be happy to provide the service_.”

 

Groaning, Virgil finally silenced his alarm and set about his morning routine. Boil water. Pack up makeshift bed into duffel. Make coffee and instant noodles (beggars can’t be choosers). Use kitchen sink to wash hair and face, before moving on to the small bathroom for a half-arsed attempt at bathing (a washcloth and baby wipes proved effective between Virgil’s stints at a motel).

 

He had just finished tidying the kitchen when his next alarm sounded for 5am. Grabbing his duffel and backpack, Virgil disarmed the alarm before setting it to rearm as he left. His duffel was heavier today as he walked in the morning breeze to the laundromat. Routines like these helped Virgil immensely; they made him feel normal, despite his circumstances. Not to mention, the laundromat was a warm sheltered place he could work in until the hour became more reasonable.

 

 

*************

 

The apartment was too quiet when Logan’s alarm went off. To say he woke up would be an insult, as he barely managed to get a wink of sleep all night. The apartment felt cold and empty as he shuffled out to the kitchen in his dressing gown and placed a cup under the coffee maker. Normally, at this time, music would be flooding the apartment and Patton would be heard singing from the bathroom while Logan prepared breakfast prior to going out jogging. Without Patton, Logan couldn’t bring himself to turn on the stereo, cook his usual breakfast or even jog. Had he not been so sleep deprived, Logan might have realised how mentally unhealthy his choices were; but sitting at the table with a cup of black coffee and buttered toast, he was just a shell of his normal self.

 

Despite the change in routine, Logan still managed to get himself ready for the day and was about to leave for work when his phone chimed in his pocket. Seeing Patton’s name and face on the lit screen left Logan feeling confused overall. Yes, he missed having his friend around, but seeing his face reignited his frustration. It was the perfect form of emotional torture, and Logan took his time walking to his car as he considered how to respond to Patton’s message.

 

 

*************

 

On the other side of town, Patton was waking up in Roman’s arms. It was different. His last boyfriend had been too rigid for Patton’s liking, and waking up with Roman was different to the more platonic bed sharing he had had with Logan and Jason.

In that moment, Roman had one arm carefully laid across Patton’s middle and the other  was tucked neatly under his pillow. Patton could feel his breath against the back of his head, soft and rhythmic. Though he was comfortable and happy, Patton could still feel the ache in his heart for Logan and he questioned how his friend was doing.

 

Carefully reaching out to the side table, Patton slid his phone and glasses down next to him and adjusted the phones brightness settings before angling it toward his face.

**No new messages**

Nibbling at his bottom lip, Patton looked at the time and considered whether to message Logan or leave him alone. As time ticked on, he finally built up the courage to send a message.

 

**Pats:** morning Logan.

**Pats:** im sorry again for yesterday.

**Pats:** I hope you slept ok.

**LogieBear: *seen***

 

Patton held his breath as he watched the ellipsis appear and disappear with no new messages coming through. Roman stirred behind him, yawning and releasing his partner as he combed his fingers through his hair.

“Morning P.B.”

Propping himself up, Roman could see the screen that held Patton’s attention. Anger started to bubble in his gut as the seconds dragged on. He was just about to grab the phone when messages finally started coming through, and Patton’s body relaxed against him again.

 

**LogieBear:** morning Patton. Thank you for your message and apology. As I said yesterday, I forgive you.

**LogieBear:** but I would still like some space today if possible.

 

Roman lent forward, pulling Patton closer towards his chest; fearing he was about to see Patton break again.

 

**LogieBear:** Do not forget to eat today. Take care of yourself. I love you.

 

To Roman’s relief, Patton giggled and quickly typed a response.

 

**Pats: I** **💜** you too

**LogieBear:** Have a good day Patton (and Roman)

 

“Oh, pass me the phone.”

Roman reached around to take the phone from Patton’s hands, using the other hand to pull the hood of the onesie over Patton’s head.

“Ha-ha-Hey,” Patton giggled, “what are you do-oo-ing?”

“Just letting Logan know what he is missing out on.”

Roman quickly snapped a picture of the pair; Patton peeking out from his hood and Roman pulling his usual selfie face with his tussled hair. Yanking the hood down over Patton’s eyes again, Roman sent the photo and a message for Logan.

 

**Pats:[*image sent*](https://1-1snailxd-art.tumblr.com/post/186714679991/the-pastel-peach-a-scene-commission-for)**

 

[*do not repost art. Share this link*](https://1-1snailxd-art.tumblr.com/post/186714679991/the-pastel-peach-a-scene-commission-for)

**Pats** : luv ya specs

 

As Patton finally escaped Roman’s arms and hood, he grabbed at his phone and groaned.

“You are such a tease, Roman.”

The phone chimed as Logan’s reply came through and Patton hid his phone.

“What did he say? Come on P.B, share with the class.” Roman rolled onto his back, pulling Patton down so his head was laying on his chest.

 

**LogieBear** : I will be sure to provide you with this when I see you next, Roman. Clearly you require it.

**LogieBear: *image sent** *

 

Patton held his phone with his finger on the lock button as Roman took in the image of Logan with the book ‘Talking for Dummies’ in front of half of his face. 

“Oh no-“ Patton quickly locked his phone as Roman reached out for it; now laughing hysterically. “Why does he even have that in his car?”

“We-we fff-ff-found it,” Patton was struggling to speak through his laughter. “For y-oooo.”

“Oh, is that how it is, is it?”

Roman grabbed Patton, tickling his sides and causing his laughter to increase in volume.

 

Katie started bashing on the door as the two continued their childish game.

“Would you two keep it down or cut it out! The third party is uncomfortable.”

“Get your mind out of the gutter, it’s PG in here!” Roman called back.

“Oh, well if that is the case,” The door swung open and Katie threw two white paper bags at the pair. “Breakfast is served.”

“Thank you, Katie!” Patton beamed as he sat up and peered at the pastry inside the bag.

“Gotta make sure my boys eat.” The smile dropped from Katie’s face suddenly, as she fixed Roman with a stern look and pointed finger. “You need to get your butt into gear today. You have class in an hour and work at 12. Don’t. Be. Late. I’m not covering for you again, got it?”

Roman nodded, pastry already in his mouth, “-ot it.”

“And you are cooking dinner tonight, Roman; no takeout.” 

“I’ll make sure he gets everything done. You can count on me, Kaaaatieeee.”

Katie smiled at Patton’s attempt to rhyme. “Thanks, Patty Bear. Hopefully your influence will rub off on Roman eventually.”

“Not if my influence rubs off on him first,” Roman joked, rubbing his shoulder against Patton.

“Ew. Mind. Gutter. I’m out.” Katie turned to leave, “catch you later, boys.”

“Bye Katie!”

“Later bitch- I mean witch.” Patton gave Roman a disapproving look and elbowed his side. “I mean I love yooou…happy?”

“Very,” He kissed Roman’s cheek before climbing out of the bed and heading for the bathroom.

 

Roman lent over to his other side table and grabbed his phone to find a new message from Logan.

 

**Specs:** thank you for helping Patton through this. I know the timing isn’t great.

**Princey:** don’t stress over it, Logan. Take all the time you need. We’re ok.

**Specs:** thank you Roman. I will see you soon enough.

**Princey:** C ya

**Specs:** **🤦**

 

Roman shook his head; regretting the day he showed Logan the face palm emoji. To that day, it was the only emoji they could get the man to use on a regular basis. He knew how much the other hated text speech and took great joy in ensuring their messaged conversations had some form of grammar or spelling error. He didn’t have a chance to continue to mock the other, as Patton came back in and held his arms out.

“Time to get up, my prince. I promised the queen you wouldn’t be late today.”

“Ah, yes,” Roman accepted Patton’s hands and climbed out of bed, “and we wouldn’t want to upset the queen of hearts or it would be off with our heads.”

Patton giggled and graced Roman with a gentle kiss on his lips; pulling away when Roman started to embrace him. “Get ready for class now, Roman.”

“Awwwww,” He whined, pouting and dropping his arms dramatically.

“If you are going to get greedy, I might have to sleep in the spare bed next time.” Roman crossed his arms and continued to pout. “Off you go, kiddo.”

Roman played up his childish behaviour as he grabbed his clothes and headed into the bathroom to shower. Patton glanced around the room, still in the onesie. Once he heard the shower turn on, he set to work tidying the room and found some of Roman’s clothes that he could borrow for the morning.

 

 

*************

 

 

The sun was warm against Virgil’s freshly washed hoodie, as he laid on the grass in the park; duffel acting as a perfect pillow for him to lay on. It wasn’t often that the weather was right for moments of bliss like this, and Virgil wasn’t one to miss an opportunity to get reacquainted with vitamin D. Unfortunately, his moment of reprieve was short lived as his phone chimed with alerts.

 

**Email -** _funds successfully transferred from acc629 to …_

**Email** \- Account Alert: available balance below $50…

**New message** \- Ben: Hey Asshole, your 20 short o…

 

‘ _There goes my day._ ’ Virgil thought, sitting up and pulling his notebook out of his backpack.

Logging in to the banking app on his phone, Virgil started assessing his limited money flow. His pay from the library was the only constant influx of funds he had, and he had it carefully split to save towards paying his phone bill and  paying Ben and his aunt. Any money he made from repairs, was also split between those three goals and he got whatever was left.

Carefully analysing his notes, he knew money was tighter that fortnight, but he was certain that the correct amount had been sent to Ben.

 

**Ben:** Hey Asshole, your 20 short on your payment. Pay up

**Virgil:** I just checked my accounts and everything looks fine on my end.

**Ben:** you forgot about interest bitch

**Virgil:** that wasn’t part of our original agreement

**Ben:** I changed my mind

**Virgil:** you can’t do that. That’s not fair.

**Ben:** I don’t give a shit about fair. You should have thought about that before you punched me.

**Virgil:** I can’t afford an extra $20. I’m barely surviving as it is.

**Ben:** not my problem, unless you need me to come and have a chat at that little library of yours.

 

Virgil’s blood chilled at the thought. He wasn’t sure of Ben’s full intentions. Was he implying that he would tell Katie who he was? Would he come and damage the library? Would he hurt Katie?

It wasn’t worth the risk and he watched his tiny $30 drop to $15 as he transferred some money to Ben.

 

**Virgil:** that’s all I can do right now. Give me a day or so  and I’ll send you the other 5.

**Ben:** you better.

 

$15 wasn’t an ideal, amount at all. The $30 was going to be hard enough, but he could have at least had one day in the comfort and safety of a $10 motel without worry. $15 would barely get him extra food, or even extra supplies to fix anything. Not to mention none of his former ‘friends’ had responded to his requests to stay over for at least a night. That left his options for the weekend as either, use the library or spend it on the streets.

With those thoughts in his mind,  Virgil packed up and left the park. He had a new daily plan in mind; drop duffel off at library, revisit local businesses to check on work availability, return to the library to test his gaming system rebuild. While he walked, Virgil searched all the University social pages to see if anyone was seeking computer support. All social anxieties had to be pushed aside; he didn’t have the luxury of dwelling on things like that now.

 

 

*************

 

Logan sat at the pet store counter, scribbling notes as he completed his reading assignment for the day. He had finished restocking the shelves 15 minutes prior and wasn’t in the mood for organising anymore of the store. The sound of the doors sliding open had him quickly shutting his books and putting on his best customer service face. He didn’t need it though as Roman appeared at the counter.

“Looking good, Roman ,” he grinned as the other approached in a stained subway uniform.

“Hilarious,” he held out a bag, “want a sandwich? Or 3?”

“What’s wrong with them,” his question was all in jest; Logan knew Roman wasn’t the sort to pull harmful pranks. He gladly pulled out a sandwich though, as Roman hoisted himself up to sit on the counter.

“So, get this, I added the wrong slices of tomato to one, the other had too much lettuce, and - **and** \- the final one,” Roman was holding his arms out like it was the most dramatic thing that had ever happened to him. “She asked for olives, then suddenly remembered she didn’t like **our** olives, and I couldn’t just pick them off because they had already ‘tainted’ her sandwich.”

Logan smirked as Roman sighed and started to eat. “Sounds like it was a busy day for a poor, misunderstood, sandwich artist.”

“Take pity on me, Logan. The world is unforgiving and will never understand me.”

Logan rolled his eyes as Roman bent over backwards and draped his arm across his forehead.

“I don’t even understand you.”

“My point exactly,” sitting up, Roman readjusted himself on the counter so he could eat more easily. “So, what is happening?”

“I’m eating a sandwich with a drama queen, while I wait for my shift to end.”

“Wow, I couldn’t see that with my own eyes. Seriously, spill.”

 

Logan sighed and put his sandwich down, wiping his hands on a napkin.

“Virgil is working on saving more of my files, I’m looking at getting a second-hand laptop, and Julie is making a cake for the anniversary.”

“Nice dark ending there,” Roman softened as he looked at Logan, “I was ignoring that invitation, too.”

“I understand why she wants to do it, but I…” Logan screwed up his face as he tried to find the right words, “I’m not sure I’m ready to turn the anniversary into some weird … party of sorts.”

“Yeah, but I don’t think it’s going to be all cake and karaoke. I’m pretty sure Julie just wants everyone to come together again.”

“I guess…I can see your reasoning. You are much smarter than you look, Roman.”

“I’m not sure if that was meant to be an insult, but I’m going to take that as a compliment.”

 

The store doors slid open and Roman quickly jumped off the counter as customers entered. Logan wrapped up his sandwich, and Roman quickly did the same.

“I should get this one to Patton, he’s been avoiding food again.”

Logan paused and looked sadly at the ground as he stepped around the counter, “I hadn’t noticed. I guess I’m probably not helping either.”

“Don’t worry about it, Logan.” Roman roughly pulled Logan into a hug; Logan keeping his hands down by his sides. “Just, don’t forget to take care of yourself. All jokes aside, I care about you too.”

Squeezing his eyes shut to suppress tears, Logan returned the hug. “Same to you, Roman. Same to you.”

 

Separating, Roman headed out the door with his bag of sandwiches while Logan headed over to check on the customers in the store. The pair were only just beginning to explore the boundaries of their friendship; especially since he and Patton had started officially dating. Not that Logan cared to admit it, but Roman was maturing from the brat of a boy he had first met six years ago.

 

 

*************

 

 

Katie strode over to Virgil's self-proclaimed office, using the master keycard to gain entry, and found Virgil groaning with his forehead on the desk.

"Tough day," Katie enquired, causing Virgil to jolt upright in his chair.

"Jeez, Reels, way to scare a guy out of his skin."

"Well 'a guy' deserves it for ghosting my messages all day," Katie perched herself on the edge of the desk and looked down at Virgil with her arms folded across her chest. "Where's my recap on the evenings events?"

"Why don't you ask, Logan." Virgil grumbled, tapping a few keys on his keyboard to activate a new program, "he's your friend."

"Ouch. I thought we were friends too." Virgil shrugged and Katie shoved his shoulder, "don't be like that, Sparks. Come on. Talk to me. What's going on? What did that nerdy idiot do?"

 

Sighing, Virgil lent back and ran his fingers thoughtfully through his hair.

"The, as you put it, 'nerdy idiot' did nothing wrong."

"So, what's with the sour puss look today then?"

Shaking his head, it took all of Virgil's self-control to not start crying on the spot. "I may have overreacted to something Logan said aaaand I'm kind of regretting it now. There. Happy?"

"Hardly."

"Gah!” Virgil threw his hands in the air, causing Katie to roll her eyes at the overly dramatic expression. “What else do you want? If you want a play by play, you're not getting it from me. Go talk to Logan."

"Why don't you?"

"Wha - I - you-" Katie smirked, raising a knowing brow as Virgil stumbled over his words. Virgil frowned as he took in Katie’s expression. "I hate you right now."

"Oh, I know." She mused, sliding off the desk. "Don't hide from everything, Virgil. You're right, I'm not going to get a play by play of last night, and nor do I want it."

"So, what is it that you want then?" Virgil was genuinely interested in Katie's response and couldn't hide the intrigue from his voice.

"Honestly, I want to see both of you stepping outside of your work zones. You spend so much time locked in here Virgil, and you wouldn't believe how hard it is to get Logan out of his study hole. It was nice to see my two workaholics’ go out into the wild."

"I can't see that becoming a regular thing, Reels." Lowering his head, Virgil tried to forget how nice it was to be out with Logan: despite his anxieties throughout the evening.

"Says who?" Virgil looked up to respond, but Katie cut him off. "It was your first time meeting each other, and honestly, it wasn't under the best circumstances. Don't let those first impressions be your only impressions. Take a chance, Virgil." Katie walked over and placed a hand on his shoulder, causing him to look up through his lengthy bangs. "I took a chance on you and I am yet to regret that decision."

"Fine."

A small smile pulled at Virgil’s cheeks as he realised just how highly Katie thought of him. The moment was short lived though, as he remembered he was abusing her trust.  

 

"That's a good lad. So, what are you gonna do?" Suddenly sitting back on the desk, Katie propped  her chin up by resting her elbow on her knee.

"Well...um..." Virgil glanced around as he thought, eyes landing on a USB that ignited his memory. "I still haven’t returned the files I managed to salvage."

"Perfect," Katie exclaimed so loudly that Virgil jumped at the sound. "Now, you have some options for Thursday's. Logan doesn't have class on Thursday, so he works at the pet store from 8 until 1, then he would go to the labs and study, and then he usually heads to the university track field around 4."

"Jeez, stalker much." Virgil was slightly concerned with the fact that Katie had Logan's whole routine memorised.

Katie simply shrugged, "I keep tabs on where my boys are. When I don't..." Katie's expression saddened so fast, Virgil's heart skipped a beat. "...bad things happen." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo, I have to go back to work next week 😭 I got so much story planning done over the past 3 weeks. I'm going to miss having so much creative freedom. If things get slow, it's because work started badly (sorry in advance). If anything does happen, I'll be sure to put it on Tumblr. 
> 
>  
> 
> Next time: Logan's nightmares. Does Virgil make a friend? More platonic logicality. Nice feelings, but dark thoughts.
> 
>  
> 
> EDIT: hope you liked the art by Peach.
> 
> [*do not repost art. Share this link*](https://1-1snailxd-art.tumblr.com/post/186714679991/the-pastel-peach-a-scene-commission-for)
> 
> Again, if you liked it reblog the Tumblr post or share the Tumblr post link. Just please don’t repost. 💜


	7. *Don't* Feed the Librarian

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After nightmares keep Logan awake at night, he finally admits that he has been deceiving himself about the effects of the approaching anniversary. It's time to admit some things and find a friend. Turns out those golden arches offer more than just fast food.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, in case you missed it, I got some art done for the previous chapter 🥳  
> Review the previous chapter to find the lovely picture Patton and Roman sent Logan OR... you know... you could
> 
>  
> 
> [click here to see it on Tumblr](https://1-1snailxd-art.tumblr.com/post/186714679991/the-pastel-peach-a-scene-commission-for)
> 
>  
> 
> Share the original post if you like it, but please don't repost anywhere else. Respect me and the artist. I hope you enjoy the new chapter 💜🐌
> 
> UPDATE 8TH SEPTEMBER - Got another commission from @the-pastel-peach on Tumblr. Want to share it? Reblog the masterlist on Tumblr (Peach hasn't posted the art on her personal Tumblr blog, but feel free to check her out and send her some love)
> 
>  
> 
> [click here to see it on Tumblr](https://1-1snailxd-art.tumblr.com/post/185309167311/libraries-are-for-meetings-masterlist)

 

Logan woke up with a gasp. His whole body ached as he sat up from his desk, a sticky note inhibiting the vision of his left eye. Removing his glasses and uncharacteristically throwing them down on his desk, Logan leant back and groaned loudly. He couldn’t hide it now; he was slipping and even burying himself in his work wasn’t stopping his mind from wandering into dark territory.

 

That night his thoughts had been haunted with dark images of all those he held dear; Patton, Roman, Katie, Ellie…and Virgil. Logan found it unbearable that no matter what he did, the moment he closed his eyes he saw them die. Patton and Roman being beaten by faceless assailants. Katie being crushed by shelves of books or held at gun point. Jason’s burning figure pulling a screaming Ellie back into a burning building. And then there was Virgil… Logan didn’t understand why in every nightmare he had; Virgil was there. Standing next to Logan, trembling in fear, tears streaming from his eyes, and Logan couldn’t do anything. He couldn’t save his friends. He was always rooted right next to Virgil. Nothing but a useless onlooker.

 

Stiffly rising from his desk, Logan headed to the bathroom and was shocked by the tired man that was staring back at him. Silent tears slipped from his eyes and he saw nothing had changed. He hadn't grown at all over the past two years. He looked just as broken as he had the days following Jason’s death. He didn’t like it, and he knew he had to do something before he got any worse.

 

 

********************

 

 

Virgil safely pocketed $20 as he left the main university library; thankful he had found one poor soul with a computer issue. It was a simple virus, nothing but a tiny gnat that Virgil could easily clean off. He felt bad even charging the dude for it, but he needed the money. Happy to have a few extra digits to his name, Virgil quickly transferred the extra $5 to Ben. He was back to $30 and breathing felt a little easier.

 

As if on cue, his stomach growled loudly; begging for anything other than instant noodles. He could still taste the meal he had had with Logan the other night and wished he could go back in time and experience it again. Virgil did his best to ignore the feeling, but when those Golden Arches came into view, he couldn’t stop his mouth from watering. 

 

That was how Virgil found himself walking into the McDonalds and being greeted by a very excited Patton.

“Virgil! Oh, my goodness, it’s great to see you again.”

“Um, hi, Patton.”

Virgil felt the crushing weight of every patrons’ eyes as Patton’s loud outburst attracted their attention. He silently wished he could just vanish and suppressed the urge to run right back out the door.

“So, what can I get for ya?”

Patton lent against the counter and Virgil found himself lost for words for a moment  as he focused only on Patton’s comforting face. Suddenly aware that he was starring, Virgil shook his head and reached into his pocket.

“Oh, um, yeah.” He had to take a breath to steady himself before continuing. “I don’t really know what I want and I’m on a bit of a tight budget. Got any suggestions for what I could get for $3?”

“I’ve got you covered, Kiddo.” Virgil didn’t think it was possible for Patton’s smile to get any bigger as he exchanged the money. “Leave it to me.”

 

Virgil distracted himself by reading a promotional sign while the other man worked, ignoring the growing sense of starring eyes the longer he stood alone. Patton quickly returned holding a bag that looked a lot fuller than it should have for $3.

“Here ya go, Virgil.”

“That cannot be mine.” He raised an eyebrow as Patton’s expression refused to falter. “I only gave you $3, and that looks like a lot.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Patton pushed the bag into Virgil’s confused arms. “I owed you, and now we’re even.”

“Owe me? You didn’t owe me anything.”

“For Logan’s computer silly,” despite the smile still on their face, Virgil saw sadness flash in his eyes. “You saved my life that day, and an act like that can’t go unrewarded.”

“I didn’t do anything special. Not really.” He averted his eyes, feeling his cheeks starting to warm in Patton’s presence.

“Well, it was special enough for me. And Virgil,” at his name, Virgil looked back into Patton’s eyes. “If you ever need anything, all you have to do is ask. Okay?”

“I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks, Patton.” As he started to back away from the counter, mystery bag of goodies in hand, Virgil gave the other an assuring smile and wave. “See ya.”

“Have a great day, Virgil.”

Waiting until he had left the store, Virgil peaked into the bag of goodies. His senses were immediately overwhelmed as he took in the fries, nuggets and a warm cookie.

 

Any guilt Virgil had for taking the extra food, vanished the moment he was back in his library office, eating the treats he was given. He still couldn’t comprehend why these strangers were so giving. None of his friends of the past ever treated him like this, and it didn’t make sense that any of these people would care so much. It had been odd enough to have Katie be so friendly towards him, but now he suddenly had both Logan and Patton practically feeding him. If Roman walked in and started being kind, Virgil was going to scream.

 

 

********************

 

 

Logan was thankful to see Maggie arrive on the back of her girlfriend’s motorcycle. It had been a surprisingly busy morning at the store and the hour he had to work solo was exhausting. Usually, Logan would have hung around and helped Maggie until someone else arrived, but today he needed to get away.

 

“Hey, Lo, where’s the fire?” Maggie called as Logan practically ran for the door.

Swallowing the bile that rose in his throat at the mention of fire, Logan called back, “Sorry, Maggie, I can’t stay! I will see you next week.”

He slipped passed the two families entering before Maggie could begin to guilt him into staying. He had one location in mind, and it wasn’t the labs. Golden Arches loomed over the horizon, Logan’s pace increased, and he glanced at his watch to confirm that his timing was going to be just right.

 

 

 

Patton stepped out of the restaurant’s back door, already feeling tired and having the second half of his shift to look forward to. He took a moment to close his eyes and just breathe, when heard someone rapidly approaching. Logan appeared around the corner just as Patton opened his eyes and his tiredness instantly melted away.

“Logan,” Patton did well to hold back his excitement and keep calm. “What brings you here?”

As his friend approached, Patton’s excitement turned to worry as he took in their exhausted features.

“Logan? What’s wrong?”

Logan paused just in front of Patton and tucked his shaking hands behind his back.

“Patton, I have come to apologise.”

“Apologi-“ Logan raised a hand and he paused, recognising that Logan just needed a moment to speak.

“My reaction was excessive, and I blamed you for my feelings, but that was unfair…”

 Logan lowered his head in shame. Admitting feelings to himself was hard but saying them out loud to Patton was even harder.

“In truth… I jumped at the opportunity to be alone. I thought that if I was alone, it would make everything easier. That being away from your emotional influence would reduce the pain I was feeling. But I was wrong.” Logan finally looked up; eyes red from holding back tears. “Being away from you made it worse and I don’t know what to do with… everything I am feeling. I just-just…”

Patton placed a hand on his shoulder and gave it an affirming squeeze. “I understand, Logan. I feel lost and confused too. Well, more so than usual.”

Logan let out a small laugh and Patton moved to grab his hands and hold them in the space between them.

“I know you don’t like to show it much, Lo, but it is ok to be sad.” Patton used his thumbs to make slow massaging circles on the top of Logan’s hands. “I’m not one to shy away from it, and I will admit I’ve been feeling more guilty than usual.”

“Patton, I already forgave you for the lapto-“

“I’m talking about Jason, Lo.”

 

Logan’s breath caught in his throat as tears threatened to escape from his eyes.

“Patton…” his voice cracked, and he had to clear his throat before continuing. “You know I have never, and will never, blame you for Jason’s passing. You were not to blame.”

Patton took in a shaky breath. “Neither were you.”

Logan had to glance up and away to hold the tears at bay. “Okay… okay, Patton. I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Hey, Logan, “ Logan looked back into Patton’s eyes. “I love you.”

 

Logan rolled his eyes and pulled the other man into a tight hug. They both squeezed their eyes as tight as their arms squeezed their bodies. Only a few tears fell, and they did well to remain composed in the public setting. The sound of the door opening, had them quickly separating from their embrace.

 

“Woah, Patton, did the kingdom fall or are you cheating on the prince with your roommate?”

The pair turned to face the McDonald’s employee that had just exited the building; a look of disgust could not be hidden from Logan’s face.

“Gavin,” Patton gasped, “I would never cheat on Roman. Why would you think that?”

Gavin gestured towards the pair, “I mean, you were just making out.”

“We were hugging,” Logan corrected, a hint of annoyance in his voice. "I assure you that Patton and I have a purely platonic relationship."

"Sorry,” the mockery of Gavin’s tone ignited a flame of anger in Logan’s gut.  “I guess I just assumed because you are both-"

"Just because Patton and I both identify outside of what is considered heteronormative, does not mean we are in a physical relationship of any kind.” There was no stopping Logan now as he moved a step closer to Patton’s co-worker. “To judge us as such is akin to me assuming you are in a relationship with all of your friends of the opposite gender. Now, I must ask, would you appreciate those assumptions on my part?"

"No."

"I thought so, and I would appreciate it if you would never make an assumption like that again.”

"Alright." Gavin hurriedly continued on his way, desperate to escape Logan's disapproving gaze.

Patton put an arm around Logan's waist, resting his head on their shoulder. "You sure set him straight in a hurry."

"Indeed. Though we shouldn't make assumptions about one’s sexuality." Patton giggled and Logan put his arm around their waist as they made their way down the path. "To the bakery for your lunch break?"

Nodding, the two headed on their way; both thankful to be back in the others company.

 

 

********************

  

Virgil jumped out of his chair, punching the air with his fist and whooping as he completed a level on his refurbished gaming system. The controller worked perfectly and the machine itself was a little slow on start-up, but otherwise ran smoothly. Looking at the time, his emotions went wild - 4:30. If he packed up and ran, he could make it to Pete’s Pawn Shop and get paid for his work; or…

Leaving his desk as it was, Virgil locked the office and found himself briskly walking to the track field.

 

He felt rather out of place in his jeans and jacket as people clad in workout gear passed him. It was almost enough to make him want to turn around and forget about finding Logan, but clearly the universe had other ideas. Virgil almost didn’t recognise him without his glasses or formal attire; replaced with running gear that was fitted, but not overly tight. It was mesmerising to watch them make their way around the track.  

 

_He looks really good._

 

Virgil almost slapped himself at the thought. That forbidden feeling of wanting to be around him, to talk to him, to just be happy.

 

_“…It’s disgusting...” … “…unnatural…” … “fucking faggots. All of em…” … “…they all deserve to die.”_

 

Fingernails dug into skin as Virgil clenched his fist to try and dispel the thoughts and memories that swirled through his mind. Mind preoccupied, he didn’t realise he had made his way almost to the finish line just as Logan slowed; tapping his smartwatch to mark the end of his run as he walked to stretch and cool down.  

Without his glasses, Logan couldn’t make out features well and despite walking towards him, they didn’t recognise Virgil until they spoke.

“Hey, Logan.”

“Virgil? What -r you doin- here?”

“Katie said you would be here, and I have your saved files.” Virgil followed as Logan headed towards his bag to retrieve his glasses.  “Sorry it took so long.”

“What? It’s only Thursday.” Logan looked up in confusion, thankful for his clear sight back to take in the others clearly anxious form. “In my opinion, that is a rather rapid turnaround.”

“Yeah-well-um… Jeez, Patton must be pretty fast.” Logan raised is eyebrow at the comment. “I mean, if you are doing _this_ regularly and Patton beat you to the library the other day.”

“Oh, well, yes. Patton is superior in speed across longer distances.”

Virgil glanced around anxiously, not knowing what else to say, before he suddenly realised, he hadn’t actually given Logan his USB yet. Pulling the item from his jean pocket, he thrust it towards the other.

“Well, here’s the USB with all the files I could salvage. I should probably let you get back to your, um, running.”

“Virgil?” He paused and looked back at Logan as they pulled a sweatshirt over their head. “I am sorry for being too forward the other night. I shouldn’t have made those assumptions about you.”

“Nah, you’re fine, Logan. I just…” Virgil caught himself, not understanding why he suddenly had the urge to tell Logan everything. “I don’t need any help right now.”

“Understood.” Nodding, Logan picked up his bag and pulled it over his shoulder. “I did enjoy our time together, though. Despite how it ended.”

“I did too.” The words left his mouth before Virgil had any time to properly consider them. It felt right and wrong all at once.

“Would you…” Virgil looked up as the other man appeared almost nervous. “Would you mind if I walked back to the library with you?”

"Not at all." A smile spread across his face as he saw Logan's shoulders relax and they set to walk side by side towards the library. "Are you going to see Katie?"

"That is one reason, yes."

 

 

The pair walked at a casual pace, neither too eager to reach the library.

"Can I ask you a question?"  
"Proceed."

"Can you tell me more about Jason?" Logan looked at Virgil in confusion. "You-you said he helped you. I-I was just - um - interested to learn more about him."

"I wouldn't even know where to start. We had 6 years together before he passed away; he was my friend, my partner and invited Patton and I to be part of his family with Katie and Roman."

"Wait," Virgil grabbed at Logan's arm to stop him for a moment, "Jason is Jason Reels?"

"Yes. Sorry, I should have made that clear."

 

The realisation dawned across Virgil's face as he recalled the photo at the main desk and the obituary clipping of the young man that 'lost his life while saving others from a house fire.' Katie kept them right next to her computer, but Virgil had never asked about them before.

"I've seen his photo in the library, but I didn't know much about him."

"He was... The one who saved me." Logan started to walk again, and Virgil followed; mind reeling over how deep the small group were connected.

"I still find it hard to believe that someone like you ever needed saving."

"You'd be surprised, Virgil." He gave the other a sideways glance and smiled. "Like I've said before, people can be cruel, and Jason tumbled into my life right when I needed him. You know that game we played the other night?" Virgil nodded and felt his cheeks heat at the memory. "Well, Jason and I did the same thing; though we were in a cell at the time."

"You? You were in a prison cell?" Virgil looked sceptical; not believing that someone like Logan would even know what the inside of a cell looked like. 

"A holding cell is a more accurate description. You sound surprised, though. Do I not come across as someone you would find in a cell?"

"Honestly, no. I mean...That science outfit of yours doesn't scream badass or anything."

"I am going to ignore that language, but I can't ignore that comment. You have wounded me, Virgil."

Logan grasped at his chest as if he had been shot and smiled at the other man.

"Jeez dude, I never knew you were such a drama queen."  
"I have been working on my sarcasm to combat Roman's outbursts. How did I do?"  
"Certainly had me fooled." Virgil stumbled slightly as Logan gave his shoulder a playful shove, "Alright, sorry. Back on topic. Can you tell me how you and Jason actually met?"   

 

The streets seemed to melt away as Logan recalled the event that started his and Jason's friendship. Their pace slowing to avoid reaching their destination as Logan spoke, and Virgil gained a better understanding of the man he couldn’t get out of his head.

 

_(Art by[@the-pastel-peach](https://the-pastel-peach.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr. [Share this link if you want ](https://1-1snailxd-art.tumblr.com/post/185309167311/libraries-are-for-meetings-masterlist)and check out [Peach's Tumblr](https://the-pastel-peach.tumblr.com/))_

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The sun was just beginning to set as Logan jogged down the street, making his way back to Patton's house. He knew Mr and Mrs Smiles were away for the weekend and that would mean alone time with Patton; which he had been actively avoiding all semester. It wasn't that Logan didn't love and appreciate Patton, but his constant apologising for coming out so publicly was overwhelming. The rumours surrounding the pairs relationship had only fuelled a flame that began burning years prior; he would never blame his friends coming out alone on his parent’s disownment of him.

 

The process of moving into the Smiles household was very quick; attributed mostly to Logan's lack of material objects and modest wardrobe. Though the transition was simple, people still talked, and the move had only ignited the gossip circle surrounding Logan and Patton's relationship. Logan tried to act indifferent as people started making assumptions on his sexuality and his girlfriend, Jade, was supportive for a time; but eventually Logan had to let her go. It wasn't fair for her reputation to be tarnished as well. He thought it was the right choice; the safe choice. He was wrong. Jade was the final force protecting him and letting her go made him even more of a target now for 'faking' his love for her.

 

Rounding a corner, Logan slowed outside of the local library to catch his breath. He took no notice of the people around him as he filled his bottle at the drinking fountain out the front; evening traffic was nothing unusual.

"What are you doing out and about, Mars?"

Even off the track, Logan didn't wear his glasses when he was running, and so he was forced to struggle to make out the detailed faces of the group that approached him. Using hearing and the general outlines, Logan took a guess that it was Jade's older brother and his friends.

"I thought it would be fairly obvious that I was jogging, though I know you do not partake in that form of physical activity."

"Funny." _Is that Karter?_

"Regular comedian we've got here, Karter." _A female voice._

"Hilarious." _another male._

 

Logan was able to distinguish the group a little better now. Karter was Jade's brother; the female voice would be his girlfriend Hannah and that meant the other was most likely his friend Ray.

"Pleasure to see you all," Logan remarked as he took a long drink from his water bottle. "Though I must be going."

As he went to step away, Ray and Karter moved to block his path.

"Who said you could go?" Ray's voice had a sinister undertone that sent an unsettling feeling shooting through Logan’s body.

"I believe I said it and I have every right to, now please step aside." Logan kept his tone level to hide his true feelings; fear rising from the pit of his stomach.

"You led my sister on, you piece of shit," Karter growled, leaning closer so his face was clearer for Logan to make out. "Did you really think I was just going to let you go?"

"I did no such thing." Logan stood his ground, determined not to falter in his strong facade. "My feelings for Jade are real, and our separation was based on mutual respect for each other. We departed on friendly terms, which you would know if you took an actual interest in her life."

 

Logan was ashamed that he didn't predict that he would find himself stumbling backwards as Karter's fist connected with his cheek. He knew Karter and Ray were talking, but he couldn't distinguish what they were saying as he miraculously managed to dodge another swinging fist. Acting on pure instinct, Logan swung his own fist; feeling it connect with something before his body was pushed backwards until it was pinned against the library's brick exterior.

"I'm going to make you regret coming anywhere near my sister."

"I only regret coming anywhere near you," Logan hissed through gritted teeth.

 

He shouldn't have said that. He shouldn't have said anything in that moment. The words soured in his mouth as they left it. By all accounts, Karter should have knocked him out; beaten him until the concrete was stained red.

Instead, another body intervened; shoving Karter off Logan. He barely had a moment to feel relief before he sensed Ray's return. Using the wall to his advantage, Logan pressed his back against the brick and kicked out hard. The force was enough to knock the air from Ray's lungs and send him stumbling backwards.

 

"Hey! Break it up!" A voice boomed from an unknown direction and Logan was thankful to spot the flickering of lights from the street.

"Thank goodness," Logan breathed a sigh of relief as he realised someone must have contacted the authorities.

His legs shook as the adrenaline of the situation faded, and Logan used the wall to guide himself safely to the ground.

 

"Don't even think about walking away from me, Powel!" A stern woman's voice called; Logan assumed it was the other officer.

"I'm talking to you, Reels." The original officer sounded calmer, though his tone was still thick with authority.

"Give me a minute, Sergeant ."

Logan recognised the voice all too well, though he never thought he would hear it at such a time; let alone having the welcoming face squat before him.

"Are you ok?"

 Logan nodded but couldn't bring himself to say any more as Jason Reels’ face barely managed to come into focus. The face of a boy he had admired from the track side for years, but never dared to approach.

"You’re lucky I was the one out on patrol with Officer Hend. No one else would let that attitude slide, Reels."

"And I will be sure to thank you later, but I'm more concerned about Logan at the moment." Logan felt a firm hand grip his shoulder, "Are you sure you're ok?"

"I don't think my injuries are in any way life threatening." Though it hurt to do so, Logan couldn't stop the smile that pulled at the corners of his mouth. "Thank you, Jason."

 

"Logan Mars, right?" the officer asked, now also kneeling in front of the beaten boy.

"Yes, sir." Logan gingerly wiped his mouth where he could feel blood seeping from a split in his lip.

There was the sound of scuffling and yelling in the distance and the Sergeant sighed.

"Don't you two move, I'll be back." Jason settled himself next to Logan as the Sergeant stood and was quick to yell at the feuding group behind them. " **Get in the car, Karter Powel, before you make this any worse for yourself! And Stevenson, I want your butt on that seat before I make you get in that car too!** "

 

"What is happening?" Logan asked as he painfully twisted to unclip his sports pack and assess the damage to his phone and glasses inside.

"Well, Karter was being sexist by not listening to Officer Hend; though he looks like a hurt puppy now Sergeant Harry has yelled at him. Ray is sitting on a park bench with Hannah, looking a little sore. Nice work with that."

"Forgive me if I don't feel much pride for causing harm to others." Logan huffed, pulling out his thankfully unharmed glasses case.

"Fair enough.”

Logan did not appreciate the relaxed tone Jason had, considering they were potentially facing assault charges for their actions. He was grateful to have his glasses on and give himself some mental relief from eye strain; though that feeling was short lived as he saw his phones cracked screen.

 

 _Perfect_.

 

Logan and Jason sat in silence, listening as the adults took statements from Ray and Hannah; pausing often for Harry to make sure Karter knew not to leave the car. Though Logan had removed his glasses and leaned back with his eyes closed, he could feel Karter's eyes burning into his skull. It wasn't long before another car pulled up, and Harry was free to return to the boys on the ground.

"What's the story, Harry?" Jason sounded way too cheery for the situation.

"That would be Sergeant Harry; don't smart ass me now, Jason. I'm taking you both back to the station."

"What? Why?" Jason sounded annoyed while fear gripped Logan's throat.

"Statements so far are that the two of you started this whole thing." Harry raised a hand to stop Jason from speaking his mind. "It's getting dark and I don't want to keep you out here for the whole town to see. I’ve asked the station to give both your folks a call so they can meet us at the station later. Let's go."

Jason grumbled but stood with ease, extending his hand down for Logan to pull himself up.

"Thank you."

 

Logan pulled himself up, but his legs wobbled as he reached a standing position.

"Woah!"

Jason wrapped a supportive arm around Logan's middle, and Harry steadied him from the other side as he took a moment to find his feet from sitting.

"You good, Mars?"

"Apologies. I was jogging prior and I do believe I may have overexerted myself from this whole situation. I will be fine."

"We can take a detour to the hospital at your request, otherwise the first aid officer can patch you up at the station."

"I appreciate the concern, Sergeant, but I would prefer to get the official processes over with as quickly as possible."

Harry nodded and Logan felt his strength returning; straightening to start walking towards the patrol cars. Harry stayed close; a shield for Logan from the eyes of the others. Despite being more confident in walking, Jason did not let go until they had reached the second patrol car and were sliding into the back seat.

 

 

 

Stuck in the holding cell, the silence stretched on. Technically Logan could have been in a waiting or interview room if he hadn’t gotten into a very vocal argument with his parents. The pounding in his head wasn’t doing him any favours in regard to thinking logically; but he refused to listen to their homophobic slurs and let them know his true thoughts. They were quickly guided into an interview room which left Logan fuming and pacing in the cell.

Jason sat quietly in the corner and watched; honestly surprised by Logan’s behaviour. Harry had given Jason permission to leave after bystanders had confirmed the boys had acted defensively, but he chose to stick around. Having friends in the station worked in his favour in that sense. Logan had been pacing ever since Jason had entered.

 

“Want to play a game?”

Logan paused mid step and turned to face Jason with a mix of anger and confusion.

“Did you just ask me if I wanted to play _a game_? Are you serious?”

“As a heart attack.” Jason lent back and crossed one leg over the other in a relaxed fashion, “come on. Humour me.”

Shaking his head, Logan sat on the bench across from the other. “Fine. How do I play.”

“It is rather simple.” The grin on Jason’s face looked more sinister thanks to the cuts on his face, though it was genuine. “You ask a question and I must answer it truthfully before I get to ask you a question.”

“That sounds less like a game and more like a conversation.” Logan muttered, rubbing his eyes under his glasses.

“Call it what you want,” he shrugged, “you can go first. Ask your question.”

 

Sighing deeply, Logan looked up at Jason; feeling himself relax slightly in seeing the older boy acting so calm and casual.

“I don’t know. What is your current track preference?”

Jason laughed loudly, “track preference? Seriously? That’s your question?” Jason softened as he saw Logan wincing and massaging his temples. “Sorry. Um…200 sprints. Not too long that you lose steam, but not so short that it’s over in a blink. My turn, are those glasses for style or vision?”

“That seems like a rather ridiculous question.”

Jason shrugged, “I’m curious. Just play the game.”

“Obviously they are for vision. Why would you ask such a question?”

“Some people use glasses as purely a fashion choice, and I only ever see you without them on the field. Thought they might have been part of some Clark Kent, Superman, secret identity vibe you were going for.”

“That is ridiculous. Wearing glasses alone isn’t enough to conceal one’s identity.”

“I don’t know about that. Can I try on your glasses?”

“No.” Jason was quick to make an exaggerated pouting face at Logan’s immediate shut down. “Why are you so interested in my glasses?”

“Honestly, I’m not.” Uncrossing his legs, Jason lent forward and rested his chin on cupped hands. “Let’s make this game more interesting. Why are you still here?”

Logan squinted his eyes at Jason, suddenly wary of his line of questioning. “I fought with my parents. Why are _you_ still here?”

“Waiting for my dad to finish work.” It was a half-truth, but truthful none the less. “Why did you fight with your parents?”

“We had a disagreement.”

 

Logan was concerned about where Jason’s line of questioning was heading. He didn’t know Jason outside of passing him on the track during training or at events. Yes, Logan admired his athletic skill, but he knew nothing about him as an individual. He was well aware of the rumours that circled the school, and town, about him; but that didn’t mean he was comfortable talking about it all to a relative stranger.

 

“Why did you step in to help me?” Logan’s gaze was fixed as he watched a Jason’s eyes flicker slightly.

“Why wouldn’t I?”

Logan smiled, painfully. “The rules you stated earlier, specify that you must answer my question truthfully.”

“Touché.” Jason winked and pointed a finger gun at Logan as he spoke, leaning back against the wall once again. “It may not be common knowledge, but I have a habit of stepping in to break up fights. Though, I will admit, that is normally at school and I’m all talk no action; unless someone else swings first.”

“But Karter didn’t swing at you. My vision may have been impeded, but from where I was standing, you entered the fight unprovoked.”

“Eh,” shrugging Jason winced as a smile sent a jolt of pain through his face. “He had it coming. Did you not want my help?”

“No,” Jason raised an eyebrow at Logan’s response, but remained silent for the other to continue. “While I appreciate the assistance, it wasn’t necessary for you to have gotten involved and cause injury to yourself. Given Karter’s size, he could have easily caused you an injury that could have inhibited your athletic ability. I would hate to have been the cause of the school losing a key track member. I truly do not understand why you would put yourself at risk for me.”

 

Logan was shocked to hear Jason laughing again, especially when it was followed with such a pained look afterwards.

“You think way too much, Mars.”

“Or it could be seen that you do not think enough.” Logan snapped back.

“Do you honestly believe that I would just walk away from a group of Juniors beating up a Freshman?”

“Anyone else would. Especially considering all the rumours, and don’t you even **pretend** to not know about them.” Logan turned away, angry at himself for even bringing up the unnecessary topic at all.

“Well, smart ass, those rumours were the whole reason why I swung first and didn’t bother asking questions at all.”

“Wha- What are you talking about?”

“It doesn’t take a genius to work out that the king of masculinity, Karter Powell, was being homo-“

Logan threw his hands up as he stood in anger, “Why is this such a big deal in the town! Why is everyone so freaking fixated on this? **I’m not gay!** I don’t understand why I must repeat myself so often.”

“Logan I-“ Jason was standing, but Logan was back pacing the space.

“Just because Patton is my friend, does not automatically make me his partner; nor does it mean our sexual or romantic preferences align.”

“I never-“

“I loved Jade. I still love Jade. The only reason we separated was because she was receiving ridicule from multiple parties, and I felt it was selfish of me to subject her to that just so our relationship could continue. And honestly, I am offended that the only reason you stepped in was because you thought you were saving a g-“

“Logan!” Jason stood in front of him and grabbed his shoulders to force him to stop and look. “I couldn’t give a fuck about your sexuality, but I was not going to walk away from some prick using _my_ sexuality as an excuse to beat someone up.”

 

The moment of silence seemed to stretch on for hours as Logan processed Jason’s words. The possibility of further discussions was cut short at the sound of approaching footsteps. Jason dropped his arms just as Patton rounded the corner.

“Oh my goodness! Logan!” He gasped rushing forward with Sergeant Harry a few steps behind.

“Patton? What are you doing here?” Logan braced himself for impact as Sergeant Harry unlocked the door and Patton hurried inside.

“I caught a bus after the police called the house.” Patton was surprisingly gentle as he hugged Logan and carefully inspected his face in the same manner a mother would. “I can’t believe something like this would happen. I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologise for, Pat. This was not your fault in the slightest.” Logan pulled Patton close and allowed him to rest his head just below his chin, sharing a glance between Jason and Harry.

Jason nodded, acknowledging Logan’s silent request to keep facts omitted.

“Just an idiot trying to act all authoritative for his sister, instead of respecting her right to date whoever she wants. Can’t see that prick making that mistake again.”

“Watch your mouth, Jason.” Harry warned, but was only given an eye roll in response. “You’re free to go, Mars. Your parents have completed all necessary paperwork and informed us of your current living situation.”

“Thank you, Sergeant Harry.” Logan turned to Jason as Patton pulled away to stand next to Logan. “What about you? How much longer do you have to wait.”

Jason looked over at the clock on the wall, “should only be another 5 to 10 minutes. I think I’ll survive my solitary confinement for that long.”

“Don’t be so dramatic,” Harry grumbled as Jason leant sadly against the bars. “Go wait at my desk; out you all come. I’ve got real criminals that should be using this space.”

 

The group walked down the hall to the bullpen of the station, where Jason threw himself onto the chair at the Sergeants desk.

“Catch you at the track later, Logan?” He called as the others continued towards the exit.

Logan didn’t skip a beat as he called over his shoulder, “you can try, Reels.”

 

Chair slowly rotating, Jason grinned to himself. He was faster than Logan based on the school records, which made the remark so amusing. Logan was the first person at school that Jason had come out to. Sure, he had come out to his family years prior, and he was more than vocal through the anonymity of the online space; but this was different. Not that he ever showed it, but Jason was anxious to learn if he had made the right decision in coming out. But, one thing he knew for sure in that moment was that he wanted to get to know Logan and Patton outside of the rumours. They were his ticket to moving forward with his personal journey.

 

 

 

********************

 

 

Patton closed his textbook as Roman slammed his computer shut in frustration.

“I don’t understand _why_ I need to know all this useless art history crap.” He leaned back in his chair and let his arms dangle loosely by his side. “Acting is about performing in the present. This whole course is a waste of my time.”

“Calm down, Roman.” Patton stood behind him and wrapped warm arms around his neck, placing a soft kiss on his cheek. “You know this is just as important as every other course you have taken.”

“I know, I know, but it’s still frustrating. Can’t you stay here again tonight and help me with all this.” The pout on his face was so comical, Patton struggled to keep his face composed.

“I told you, I’m going home tonight; Logan needs me.” Straightening, Patton went to move away when Roman grabbed his hand and pulled him down to sit on his lap.

“But I need you too. Let me come over. We can comfort Specs together.”

Patton had his arms around Roman’s neck again, eyes locked and begging. As much as he loved Roman, he wanted to stick to his idea of taking their relationship slow. Despite there being only a 3-year age gap, Patton still saw his partner as being so young and wanted him to have his independence; something Patton felt he didn’t have. Not that it was a bad thing, but he felt like he could never cope on his own and didn’t want Roman to be held back by similar anxieties.

“You have the breakfast shift tomorrow, Kiddo, and you’ll need all your beauty sleep; not a distraction.”

“You aren’t a distraction.” Roman pulled Patton close; eyes closing as their lips met.

Familiarity made their movements smooth and addictive as hands traced each other’s forms. It was almost painful for Patton to pull away; hand caressing the others cheek while he smiled knowingly.

“See, a distraction.”

“Okay,” defeated, Roman gave Patton a fake, sad smile. He knew he had a point, but that didn’t stop him from pushing his luck further. “If you must leave, can I be distracted until you have to go?”

Though his mind said “no”, Patton couldn’t deny his heart; nodding, he stood to pull Roman out of his chair. No words were exchanged as Roman pulled his partner in close again, before lifting them up to carry them to his bedroom.

The outside world faded away while they were together. There was no anniversary, no study, no work. Just the two of them, four walls and a queen-sized bed. When Katie shuffled through the front door, arms loaded with groceries, Patton was just packing up his things to leave.

“Have a productive afternoon, PB?” she questioned while heaving the bags into the kitchen.

“Always, Mama Kay.” Patton slipped on his backpack and moved to give Katie a brief hug. “Always. I’ll catch you tomorrow night.”

Katie smiled to herself as she restocked the kitchen, hearing the front door click shut as Patton left. It was good to see things were back to normal; especially with the anniversary fast approaching.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, you lovely and supportive reader. Sorry this update took so long. I actually had the chapter done last weekend, but I got hit with the flu and didn't feel in a good headspace for editing. I'm at about 70% so hopefully not too many mistakes have slipped through. 
> 
>  
> 
> Anyway, not going to lie to you all, the next chapter may be a while. My heart says 2 weeks, but I am learning nothing ever goes to plan around here. With that being said though, I do post samples on Tumblr. If you ever feel like it's taking too long, just check there and you might be lucky enough to find a sample (or art....I'm not gonna say I'm addicted, but I think I might be addicted to the thrill of seeing ideas from my head brought to life). 
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks again for reading and happy timezone to you all 💜🐌
> 
> Again: please don't repost the art anywhere (with or without credit). Share the links provided and visit Peach's Tumblr to give them some love. [click here to see it on Tumblr](https://1-1snailxd-art.tumblr.com/post/185309167311/libraries-are-for-meetings-masterlist)


	8. Heart-Eyes in the library

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is nice to talk and feel safe with the people in your company, but cuddles are even better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the initial timeline is gonna jump around a little bit because I am a little stoopid and posted the last chapter with an ending that I actually didn’t want to have there. So sorry about that little mess up.

As Logan finished his story, the pair stepped through the library’s front doors and Virgil absently continued to walk towards his office; Logan now silently following. It wasn’t until the office door was safely closed that Virgil remembered how to breathe.

“What happened to the guys that beat you up?” He questioned, taking a seat at the messier end of the table. “Were they at least charged or something?”

Logan let out a long sigh as he sat at the opposite end.

“Unfortunately, no. We all walked away with warnings and nothing more and I was not in a position to take the matter further. It was safer that way.”

“I’m sorry that happened to you.”

“It may have been the first, but sadly it wasn’t, and won’t be, the last.” Removing his glasses, Logan retrieved a cleaning cloth from his bag and started cleaning them for a distraction. “Not everyone is accepting of my identity. I don’t think I ever would have accepted myself without seeing how strong Patton and Jason were in the face of discrimination and ignorance.”

 

Virgil stared at the floor, thinking of all the times he had stood by and watched someone be beaten. The cries for help he ignored. The discussions he’d listen to in silence as hate was voiced and the suggested actions that he never attempted to stop.

He was part of the problem. He was just as bad as the people that beat Logan. He was a disgusting excuse for a human and didn’t deserve any of Logan’s kindness for the things he had done.

 

“Virgil?” Logan stood and moved towards the younger man; head snapping up suddenly at his name. “Are you alright? You’ve gone quite pale.”

Virgil struggled to swallow, mouth dry and heart racing. “What? Oh, I’m fine. Just - um - I-I-I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Logan kneeled before the other, brows knitted in confusion and concern.

“I dunno,” he shrugged and shifted in his chair, “existing. Making you relive that. Wasting your time. Take your pick.”

A firm, but gentle, hand gripped his shoulder and Virgil looked up to meet Logan’s eyes.

“I may not be able to fully comprehend what has triggered that line of thinking, but I assure you it is untrue. I rather enjoy your company, Virgil, and while sharing my story is…painful, to some degree; it is also freeing to be able to share it.”

“You…enjoy my company?”

“Affirmative. Do you enjoy mine?” Colour returned to Virgil’s cheeks and he nodded. “I am glad to hear that. Thank you, Virgil.”

“No. I haven’t done-“

“You’ve made this week more tolerable and - well, I was wondering if - um. Would you…” Virgil watched as the other man appeared almost nervous; glancing down before looking back up again. “Would you be interested in hanging out tomorrow?”

“Oh - um - I -“ Logan’s hand was suddenly off Virgil’s shoulder and he fidgeted with his clothes as he found himself suddenly afraid of his response. “… I was going to do some work, but I guess I-.”

Logan sighed and felt himself relax slightly. “If it helps, I have this hard drive of personal images that I am desperate to see, and Patton’s laptop won’t read it. I would happily pay you for your services  if you are able to offer them.”

“I…” The dark thoughts swirled through his head again, but Virgil mentally shoved them aside as hard as he could. “Lunch would be great. Will you bring your things out somewhere or do you want me to come over?”

“If you wouldn’t mind coming over, that would be great. I have a lecture until 11:30; so, if you meet me near the labs, we can pick something up on the way to my place.”

“Fine with me. I should, um... I've got some stuff to organise in here before my shift starts.”

"Right, yes, of course." the pair slowly stood; Logan backing towards the door. "I shall see you tomorrow then."

"For sure."

Virgil watched them walk away as he turned to his mess of a desk, smiling to himself. Logan headed out toward the main desk to see Katie; thankful Virgil accepted his offer. It would be nice to break up his day before the meeting in the library and he felt so much lighter since opening up to the dark eyed librarian.

 

 

"How's it going, heart eyes?" Katie teased. 

“Funny,” Logan mused, folding his arms across his chest. “Get it all out of your system now.”

Beaming, Katie stood and started making large dramatic gestures with her body and arms as she spoke. “You look so cute together. Have you seen how red your faces are? They could pick up your blush from a camera in space. I can’t wait to receive my ‘best wing woman’ trophy. Be sure to thank me at your inevitable wedding. If I’m not the maid of honour, I will riot.”

“Are you done?”

“For now.” She raised an eyebrow, “care to rebut?”

“My pleasure.” Perching himself on the desks edge, Logan crossed his legs and fixed Katie with a knowing look. “While I’m sure we do come across as an aesthetically pleasing pair, he has yet to confirm his romantic attractions and I am yet to confirm my own identity with him. While I will not deny some ‘feelings’ towards him; it is far too soon to be making judgements on our potential future relationship status. Considering Jason and I knew each other for over a year before we officially entered our relationship, it would be foolish of you to assume I would enter a relationship with someone I’ve only known for a couple of days.”

“Oh, I know.” Katie smirked and ruffled Logan’s hair as she walked around the other side of the desk. “I just like watching your cheeks redden like a child caught with their hand in a cookie jar.”

“You’re confusing me with Patton again.” He grumbled, combing his fingers through his hair and following Katie to the kitchen.

“You like cookies just as much as him and don’t you dare try and deny it.” Grabbing down three mugs, Katie set to work making two coffees and a tea for herself. “On a slightly heavier note, are you still okay with tomorrow evenings meeting?”

“I’ve kept my evening schedule clear, though my morning is very much booked.”

“Meeting Virgil again huh?”

“Wha-How did you-” Logan stammered.

“I didn’t, but I do now,” she giggled; presenting two mugs to Logan. “Take one to Virgil would you and can you remind him about the meeting tomorrow, I’ve gotta start shutting the computers down for the afternoon.”

“You’re really pushing this aren’t you?”

“You’ll thank me later.” Katie called, and walked off to the computer room with her tea in hand.

 

 

Virgil had made quick work of his office clean; only the gaming system remained on the table, just waiting to be boxed up and sold on. He was just sealing a small container of wires when he heard a soft knock on the door. It was odd to find Logan there, and he was a little taken aback.

“Logan? What are you doing?”

“Katie made you coffee,” he offered the mug which Virgil gladly accepted, “and asked me to remind you about tomorrow evening”

“Yeah, I saw the library was booked for some meeting. I’m gonna start cleaning earlier so I can get out of the way.”

“That won’t be necessary,” Logan assured,” we wouldn’t be offended by your presence.”

“What do you mean?”

“We call it a meeting, but it’s more of an indoor picnic. Jason used to organise them with needy groups once a month. After he passed, Katie started them as a way to, I guess,  reconnect. We haven’t had one in a while though.”

“It can be tough, at times, when it comes to connecting with people after a trauma.”

 

Virgil’s eyes widened as he stared at his coffee, the words of his former therapist slipping from his mouth before he even realised. Quickly pulling the coffee to his lips, he hoped Logan didn’t freak out over the comment; which is why the breathy laugh shocked him so much. Logan was genuinely lost for words for a moment, but he finally composed himself and nodded.

“That… is a very wise sentiment, Virgil. It sounds like you have some experience in that area.”

Fingers drumming on the side of his mug, Virgil moved to leave the office. “Yeah, well, nothing like what - um - you experienced, but I have my fair share of shadows in my past.”

“Well I’m glad you are able to connect now,” Logan beamed, following the cautious other to the kitchen to clean his surprisingly empty mug.

“I-“ Virgil looked at Logan’s face, a comforting feeling sitting on his chest and shielding him from his usual self-hate. “I’m glad I am too.”

 

A high-toned ringing caused them both to jump and Logan rifled through his bag to find his phone blaring an alarm. He silenced it before reading the reminder to go get groceries for dinner.

“I’m sorry about that, but I need to get going.” Virgil took the mug from his hands and he nodded gratefully. “Thank you. I’ll see you tomorrow. 11:30 at the science building?”

“I’ll be there.”

With a final wave, Logan headed out of the library; pausing briefly at the front desk to scribble a smiley face on a post-it note for Katie.

 

Twenty minutes later, Katie had locked the front door and was pulling Virgil’s headphones off his head before he could start vacuuming.

“What you need, Reels?” He questioned, leaning against the vacuum handle.

“Nothing, just checking in.” Her voice raised in pitch and she rocked on her feet like a child asking her parents for a pony. “So, how’d it go with Lo-gaaan?”

Virgil rolled his eyes with a groan, “I’m going to do some more computer work with him tomorrow. Happy?”

“Are you?”

The question stirred something in Virgil, and his eyes shifted as he considered it in its entirety. When he was with Logan, the voices of his past were at their loudest, but he also managed to silence them much faster. A genuine smile spread across his face as he finally nodded, meeting Katie’s eyes.

“Yeah. I think I am.”

“Then so am I. Catch you tomorrow afternoon.”

 

Waving, Virgil returned his headphones to his ears before starting the vacuum cleaner up. The action was soothing and gave him plenty of time to reflect on the week’s events. So much had happened in such a short period of time, and his thoughts and emotions had been on overdrive. Roman had revealed himself to be a reasonable soul, dating the most selfless man Virgil had ever come across. He learnt that Ethan and Ellie were the same person and gender was a lot less black and white than he had believed. Jason had become a name connected to a face with a story he still didn’t quite understand, but Virgil knew he was the keystone to the whole group. And then there was Logan. Passionate and professional Logan. He couldn’t deny the smile on his face as he pictured them; squared glasses, dress shirt, tie, combed hair, pleasant smile.

 

_“… disgusting...” … “…unnatural…” … “What? Are you a faggot too?” … “if you dare mention him to me again, you can forget about living.”_

 

The spray bottle of disinfectant slipped from Virgil’s shaking hands and split on impact with the ground; the solution slowly seeping into the carpet beneath the main desk. Breathing seemed impossible as memories overpowered his thoughts; yelling, insults, cries of pain, screams of distress, blood and the flashing of emergency lights. The library faded to black as Virgil lost all connection with his surroundings.

 

******************************

 

The bus stopped at the top of the street and Patton quickly hurried down the path toward the unit complex. Rows of two-story town houses pressed close together, creating a wall of buildings housing other young studiers taking advantage of the cheap rent and small yard maintenance rates. Reaching the building at the end, Patton slid his key into the lock and felt a wave of relief rush over him as he stepped into their apartment. A pleasant spice smell filled his nostrils the moment he entered; a clear indication that  Logan was already busy preparing dinner in the kitchen. Leaving his bags at the door, Patton turned straight into the kitchen and walked right into Logan’s waiting arms for a hug.

“That smells so good, Logie.”

“Your timing is impeccable. Everything is ready to be served, you just need to select the entertainment for the evening.”

Practically vibrating with excitement, Patton rushed around to the TV and started scrolling through their options while Logan set to serving the stir-fry. After placing their plates on the table, Logan returned to the kitchen to split the leftovers into plastic containers.

“Who’s the third one for?” Patton questioned, looking at the three containers Logan had set out.

“No one. I just made too much is all and thought a third container was necessary.”

Patton was not convinced, leaning on the breakfast bar with a knowing grin. “You never misjudge serving sizes. You made some for Virgil, didn’t you?”

“I do make mistakes sometimes, Patton,” Logan assured, quickly rinsing his utensils and setting them beside the sink for washing later. “But should Virgil be interested; I see no harm in sharing our leftovers with him.”

“Sure,” a wink and click of his tongue confirmed that Patton didn’t believe a word of what Logan said, but he turned to sit at the table as an animal documentary started playing on the TV.

 

Dinner went by with a few laughs and flushed cheeks as the pair discussed their days apart. Logan admitted that he did indeed find Virgil to be pleasant company and a rather surprising positive to come from a shattered laptop. This made Patton feel much better and more willing to confess he rather enjoyed his evenings with Roman. A raised eyebrow, coupled with a smirk, from the science major had Patton glowing like a ripe tomato.

“Pulled those brakes off real fast, Pat. I’m surprised at you.”

“No no no.” Patton waved his arms, but his face only turned redder, “it wasn’t like that. We just - um - He didn’t - I mean, I didn’t - it just… happened.”

Shoving his hands in his lap, Patton pouted in embarrassment while his friend laughed and nudged his shoulder as he carried their empty plates to the kitchen.

“I’m only teasing you, Patton. You know I hold no judgement over what you and Roman do in your spare time.” Patton hummed in agreement and rose from his position to join Logan in the kitchen; wrapping his arms around his friend’s waist and resting his head on their back while they started the dishes. “Was it worth the wait?”

Eyes closing, Patton sighed and recalled his afternoon. “Absolutely.”

 

Logan smiled and continued his task with Patton holding on to him like a baby koala. Since moving cities, Patton had jumped between multiple relationships; rarely ending pleasantly or being paced at all. The man had so much love to give and was all too willing to give it; often to his own detriment. It seemed Patton had finally decided to take the singles road when Roman asked him out and it turned out to be the best thing that could have happened, and the first relationship the man had taken seriously enough to pace himself. It warmed Logan’s heart to finally see his friend have a positive experience with someone. He’d had similar experience with ‘uncomfortable’ situations before realising his asexuality thanks to Jason. It had always caused him great pain to have Patton recall his experiences, and they rarely left him has happy and content as he was now.

It set a calm tone for the evening as the pair moved to the lounge room, Logan laying in the corner of their couch with Patton leaning against his chest under a soft teal blanket. When Logan woke, the tv sat on a menu screen and showed the time was after midnight. It took some careful manoeuvring, but he eventually managed to slide out from beneath Patton. Sliding the glasses off Patton’s face, the sleeping man stirred and blinked groggily up at his friend.

“Yours or mine,” Logan whispered, bending to scoop his tired friend up.

Wrapping his arms around Logan’s neck, Patton mumbled into his ear and Logan smiled;  carefully making his way to his already turned down bed.

 

******************************

 

Virgil couldn’t remember if he fell asleep or passed out, but he woke up under the main desk; morning alarm vibrating in his pocket and the strong scent of disinfectant still in the air. Groaning, he slowly sat up and rubbed at his pounding head. Groggily grabbing his phone to silence the alarm he noticed multiple messages had come through during the night.

 

**Ben:** I got some friends over and Im feeling a little loose

**Ben:** Im gonna to need something to keep these lips closed

**Ben:** Another 20 should keep em shut

**Ben:** Your silence wont get my silence

**Ben:** Youv made a mistake now

**Ben:** price has gone up again dip shit. I’ll call tomorrow with your new figures. You better answer or I’m tearing this contract up and going straight to that library of yours.

**Virgil: *seen***

 

Suddenly wide awake, Virgil was off the ground and racing to prepare for the day. He would need to get a decent amount of money to calm Ben down now, and only one gaming console to sell. Friday was set to be one heck of a day.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so this was the crazy chapter that wasn’t meant to be. I messed up the timeline in my last upload (well done past me) and then my computer had a melt down and deleted most of this chapter 😭 Thankfully, I was able to run a recovery and saved a lot of stuff I thought I had lost (Look at me being all Virgil like). 
> 
>  
> 
> Anyway, I’ve got E planned to make a return next chapter and give a little more insight into how they feel about everything. It’s something I have been looking forward to exploring since I introduced them, and I feel like some of the dots should start getting connected now. 
> 
>  
> 
> Hope you are still enjoying the story. Please let me know your thoughts; I’d love to read them.  
> Happy timezone to you all 💜🐌
> 
>  
> 
> On a personal note: Flu seems to have finally moved on (yay), but I may not have a job in the same place next year (boo) and my boss hasn’t really given me a clear list of options (I thought being permanent meant I had more security than when I was on a contract, but whatever).


	9. Life is a book

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> E prepares for their day as the anniversary draws nearer and Virgil thinks about the past for the first time in a while.

_Heat. Screams. Burning. Pulling. Crying._

_“E! Jason!”_

_“Are they breathing?”_

_“They’re breathing. You need to cool them down and stop the bleeding; I’m going back.”_

_“Jason, don’t!”_

_“Oskar hasn’t come out. I’m going back. Just take care of E, Sasha. I’ll be back”._

_Heat. Screams. Burning. Crying. Sirens. Screams. Screams. Scream._

 

Eyes snapping open, E gasped for breath as their heart raced from the memory. Shaking hands tightened around their blankets and pulled them close to their chest as they started timing their breaths and grounding their senses in reality. It took 10 minutes for them to be able to sit up; muscles stiff from being tensed up so long. They slowly stood and made their way over to their dressing table mirror; sighing as they took in their unfiltered appearance - head shaven and maintained around the leathery skin on their scalp, red scar lines tracing the skin under their left eye and cheek. Those features didn’t bother E anymore; they were nothing but a minor inconvenience, the mounds on their chest were another story. Despite sleeping in an oversized shirt, they could still see the fabric protruding out slightly; and E squeezed their eyes shut as their mind, body and soul fought over their identity.

E hated mornings like this; just not being sure of their gender. They preferred the days they felt just feminine or just masculine; those days were easy compared to days like today, when they just didn’t know.

Their stomach growled in hunger, snapping them out of their thoughts. Avoiding the mirror, E slipped on a green hoodie and yellow beanie before heading downstairs to greet their roommates. Sophie and Xander were just leaving as E reached the bottom of the stairs, getting a brief farewell before the front door closed.

“Morning, E!” Sam called from the kitchen, popping out with two plates of scrambled eggs. “I hoped you were up. I have a massive favour to ask.”

“Shoot.” Taking a seat at the table, E watched as Sam repeatedly tucked their long fringe behind their ear and sat down.

“I have a big presentation today and I was wondering if you could do my hair and make-up. You do such a good job and I really want to make a good impression during the presentation. Can you spare some time, please?”

“Sure, your make up is an easy job.”

Sam beamed, “Thank you so much. I’ll pay you for this of course.”

“Don’t bother,” E muttered, slipping another spoonful of eggs into their mouth, “breakfast is payment enough.”

 

As soon as their plates were cleaned, E invited Sam to their room and set to work on their makeup for the day. The work was a good distraction, though looking at Sam’s red streaks gave them flashes of flames and they took a moment to refocus before continuing. It was going to be a long day of held emotions if the morning was anything to go by.

 

“You had a nightmare, didn’t you?”

The questioned stunned E so much, they almost poked Sam’s eye with the liquid liner tip.

“What? Where’d you get that idea?”

“You’ve been off all morning, Ethan.” The name sent a calm through Ethan’s mind and the world seemed to get a little clearer; Sam was always good at picking which name they needed to hear. “Are you going to stay with your family this weekend?”

With a sigh, he nodded and continued working.

“I’m staying with the library crew tonight and then I’ll be with my aunt the rest of the weekend.”

“That’s good. Those library guys will look out for you. Is your sister going too?”

“Sasha doesn’t really associate with them anymore,” straightening, Ethan moved to finish styling Sam’s hair. “I think the guilt is too much for her; I mean, it was her party, but Oskar is just as bad too.”

“That sucks. I know Sasha and Jason were good friends. It’s a shame she couldn’t have stayed connected with Logan at least.”

“Yeah, well, they’ll see each other this weekend for sure.” Moving around, Ethan inspected their work and made a few small adjustments. “My aunt is catering for the Reels memorial again and giving them the diner for most of the day. I hope she lets it go after this year. Honestly, the whole action is a little over the top and selfish.”

“Everyone deals with guilt in their own way, E. Don’t knock your aunt too much.”

“Yeah, I know.” Stepping back, Ethan gestured to the mirror, “all done.”

Sam beamed at their braided hair and soft silver eyes that matched their blouse. “It’s amazing.”

“You’re going to knock ‘em dead today.”

“Thanks, Ethan.” Sam stood and blew a kiss in his direction. “Message me if you need anything, okay?”

With a nod, Sam headed off to collect their things while Ethan grabbed their binder and headed into the bathroom for a shower.

 

 

 

Locking the door behind them, Ethan headed for the bus stop to make their way into town. They had a short, blond wig with gold eye liner; paired with a white speckled, black shirt with dress pants and shoes. Black felt like an appropriate colour for the day, as they made their way to the theatre to do some special effects makeup tests for a new production. A few years ago, Ethan never would have thought they’d be pursuing a career in makeup, but now they couldn’t see themselves doing anything different. Turns out having your face scarred was a good motivator for pursuing a new career in makeup artistry. Taking a seat on the bus he hoped today’s work would provide a reasonable distraction and make the day pass quickly until it was time to go to the library.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The moment the morning Librarian, Tate, officially opened the library, Virgil raced inside to begin boxing up his gaming system. He had sent an apology message to Ben earlier but was yet to receive any form of reply, which had him worried beyond belief. Part of him hoped that the threats against the library were fake and he would simply come after him, but he wasn’t about to take any risks. His only hope was that Pete was in a giving mood and had some more items for him to fix.

 

Air fresh, Virgil wished he had his thicker hoodie on as his deep violet jacket was doing nothing to stop the wind slicing through him. Pushing through the doors of Pete’s Pawn Shop, he was thankful for the reprieve from the chilling winds.

“Virgil!” The rotund man boomed from the back of the store. “How’s my junior fixer going today?”

“Fine, thanks, Pete.” Reaching the store counter, Virgil placed the box down and put on his best act of confidence. “Got this relic back in working order. Perfect for selling to a hardcore gamer with plenty of money from their mothers’ basement.”

Pete laughed and opened the box to pull out Virgil’s meticulous report of what he had done and how the system ran. Half of it was nonsense to the man, but he pretended to read it all over for the sake of professionalism.

“Seems you did a fair bit on this thing?”

“It had a fair amount of wear and tear from neglect and general ageing.” Virgil assured, pulling out the controller to show off. “I cleaned all the pieces so it’s almost as responsive as any modern console. Considering its age, and former condition, this thing runs as smooth as anything. Collectors would be foolish to walk past a piece like this.”

“Okay, okay, Virge, I see what you’re saying.” Pete turned to his computer and started typing away. “You want fair price for your work, I understand.”

“I need more than fair, Pete.” Virgil turned and leant his back against the counter and looked around the store. “I need to be in the green zone and make our partnership worthwhile.”

“Alright, kid.” Pete clicked away from the search screens he had just used to double check the systems value and opened the register to retrieve some cash. “How about $50 for your efforts?”

Looking sideways at the money on the counter, Virgil shook his head. “That’s barely covering the labour and parts, Pete. I paid you $20 for this thing in the first place and it was only a dust collector at that point. Make it $120.”

A smile spread across Pete’s bearded face and he laid more notes on the counter. “$60 and then you’ve got $40 in the green.”

“Not good enough,” turning to face the man, Virgil leant his hands on the counter and met Pete’s gaze. “I need more green for parts; make it worth it.”

“$75 a better colour?”

“$100 would put me in a better place.”

“Why don’t we settle on $85 and I’ll throw in a busted blender for free?”

Slamming his hand down on the money, Virgil thrust his other hand toward Pete. “Deal.”

Accepting the hand, Pete gave it a firm shake before closing the till and grabbing the box down from the counter. “Go take your choice of appliance from out the back, kid. That’ll be an easy 20 for ya later.”

“Thanks Pete.”

Pocketing the money, Virgil quickly headed to the storeroom to assess his possible options. Pawn shops were a sense of comfort for the young man, a pleasant memory of much of his childhood spent in his grandparent’s store where he learnt how electronics worked from the employees. While his grandmother managed the jewellery aspect of the store, Virgil spent his days working with his grandfather’s tech-group; watching them pull apart and piece together everything from toasters to PCs. Losing his grandparents, and the store, was the first domino that fell in a series of events that transformed his childhood to a less than pleasant memory.

 

Pete appeared in the doorway and Virgil turned to give him a deflated look.

“Have you got anything a bit more substantial?”

“Sorry, Virge, this is all the stock I have. Phil came in and took my last PC yesterday.”

After sending a silent curse to Phil, Virgil grabbed a small handheld game that seemed in reasonable condition and followed Pete back out.

“Look, I know you prefer your other guys to do your client jobs, but can you please give me a call if you get anything in that you’re happy for me to work on. I really need the money.”

“I can’t promise anything, but,” The man ran a hand over his head and took a long look at the young mans fragile form, “if I get anything coming through I’ll give you a call.”

“Thanks, Pete. I really appreciate it.” Virgil headed for the door; eager to get back to his office and start on his new project.

“Take care of yourself,” the door closed, and Pete sighed, “lord knows you look like you need it.”

 

 

* * *

 

The library was uncharacteristically busy for a Friday morning; a constant flow of studiers and families pulling books from shelves and engaging in whispered discussions. Headphones blocked out the sounds outside of his office, as Virgil inspected the disassembled the handheld. Slouched in his chair, Virgil stared at the collection of parts and tried to mentally work out which parts were going to be salvageable. Lost in thought and music, the vibration of his phones alarm had him jolting out of his chair in shock; expecting the vibration to signal a message from Ben. Though his heart still raced with fear, once his mind comprehended the time, fear was replaced with excitement. Tate took notice of the unusual spring in the cleaner’s step as he left the library; a smile on his face for the first time in months.

 

 

The wind was still cold and unkind as Virgil made his way to the university; pulling his hood up to shield his ears. He had exchanged his jacket for a heavy black hoodie with white ringed designs, which was proving to be a better shield against the cold. Heart pounding with excitement despite the quiet whispers of doubt; Virgil wasn't going to let those voices stop him today. Today was his day. He was making the choice to see Logan. It was his decision, and he was going to enjoy it.

 

 

Virgil's throat instantly tightened as his music was cut off for an incoming phone call, and he quickly slipped into an ally to answer it discretely. Relief hit hard when he saw the caller ID was Katie.

"What's up, Reels?"

" _Is that an echo I hear, Virgil? You better not still be at the librar_ y." Katie sounded irritated and Virgil rolled his eyes.

"No, Mum. I slipped into an ally to escape the wind."

" _Oh._ " He could hear Katie clearing her throat and shuffle around on the other end of the line. " _Sorry. I thought you were hiding from, Logan. That was a dick move on my part._ "

"It's fine, Katie, but I'm going to be late if you don't get to the point."  
" _Yeah. Sorry. I was wondering if you wanted to help me set up for the meeting this afternoon, instead of your normal clean. That way you won't miss any hours; unless you've already got plans_."

"Nah, that's fine." He hid a sigh of relief at the prospect of keeping his hours up, and mentally adjusted his money situation. "Starting at my normal time?"

" _Yes, please._ "

"Too easy. I'll see you then."

" _Have fun with Lo-gan._ "

"Bye, Reels."

Virgil hung up the phone as Katie erupted into giggles; looking at the time and quickening his pace to make sure he met Logan on time. Memories shifted to the front of his mind as he got closer, and he slowly increased the volume of his music to overpower the thoughts. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Logan had never been one to watch the clock, but today he could not stop himself from glancing between the loud analogue clock on the wall and his watch. The professor’s voice faded from his hearing, drowned out by the ticking of the clock edging closer to the session being over. Restless fingers fidgeted with his pens until finally the group was dismissed and Logan packed up faster than he had ever done before.

Reaching the bottom of the stairs, his heart sank when he didn't see Virgil waiting outside. Coat tucked over his arm in the rush, the wind sliced across his uncovered arms as he stood outside the  building; a still figure in the flow of exiting students. As the crowd thinned, Logan turned towards the car park with his heart sinking. In that moment, he consciously realised just how excited he had been to see Virgil again. Though he had known he was enjoying their company, Logan hadn't been willing to admit the extent of his feelings. Despite hardly knowing anything about him, he felt that Virgil was more than a simple acquaintance; he was already a friend.

 

"Logan!"

Logan's head jerked around at the sound of Virgil's voice and he was quick to spot the thin man waving as he made his way up the path. Making no effort to hide his sigh of relief, Logan waved back and smiled.

"Didn't think I ditched you, did ya?" Virgil beamed, slipping his headphones off and proceeding to slip them into his bag.

"I will admit," Logan chuckled and fiddled with his bag strap, "that was my initial conclusion. I am glad you proved me wrong."

"I'll try not to make a habit of it." Virgil naturally began walking beside Logan as they headed towards the carpark; as if it was a regular routine they had. "How was class?"

"Very uneventful," he practically grumbled the reply, "as most lectures have become. I prefer opportunities to complete hands on activities and research tasks. Listening to someone drone on for an hour is beyond me - What's so funny?"

No longer hiding it, Virgil openly laughed and nudged Logan's shoulder, "You never cease to amaze me, Lo."

"What do you mean?"

"You've been arrested, you're pretty much a pro-athlete, and you hate lectures just as much as any  regular person."

"It may surprise you to know," Logan reached up and adjusted his glasses with a smirk, "but I am a regular person."

 

To the untrained eye, the pair seemed like old friends as they laughed their way into the car park and stepped up to Logan's surprisingly close parking spot. Depositing bags in the back of the car, they slid into their respective seats after confirming pizza was the best lunch option and Virgil plugged the order into his phone for them to pick up on the way. After exiting the car park, Logan steered the conversation away from himself and tried to earn some more from Virgil.

 

"So, what did you get up to this morning, Virgil?"

Virgil shrugged and slid his phone back into his pocket, "nothing much. Went down to the pawn shop to sell one gaming system and buy another. Nothing newsworthy or anything."

"On the contrary, I find your work fascinating. Where did you say you learnt all this stuff? Google and trial and error?"

"Yeah, in part. But really my grandparents owned a pawn shop and I spent a lot of time there when I was younger." A weight shifted on Virgil's chest as he spoke; but emotion still gripped at his throat slightly. "I learnt everything from my grandad and the fixers that worked for him."

"You are very lucky to have such a close relationship with your grandparents."

"Yeah, I was..." Head dropping, Virgil picked at his nails absently as he felt Logan sag into his seat.

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"It's okay. I got 13 years with them; that's more than some people get."

"True, but that doesn't make your feelings any less valid. It sounds like they had a significant influence on your childhood."

Straightening in his chair, Virgil raised his head to look ahead and compose himself as his throat constricted further.

"They were very much my childhood. I spent more time with them than either of my parents." Pausing to take a shaky breath, Virgil recalled their smiling faces the last time he had seen them. "They didn't deserve to die the way they did."

Brow furrowing, Logan chanced a glance at his passenger; question cautiously forming on his lips.

"May I ask what happened?"

 

Part of Virgil screamed for him to remain silent as he closed his eyes and leaned his head back on the headrest. He hadn't spoken to anyone about his grandparents since he stopped going to therapy; but part of him wanted to tell Logan. Logan had already told him so much about his past and it only seemed fair that he did the same to some degree.

Eyes remaining closed, Virgil slowly spoke; each word painfully tearing at his soul to leave his mouth.

"They went missing. Just didn't open the shop one day. Vanished for two weeks along with my Dad." A single tear threatened to slip from his closed eye, and Virgil took a shaky breath in and forced the emotion away. "They came back and I got to see them one last time before... Before they were..."

 

Pulling into a parking space near the pizza shop, Logan placed a hand on Virgil's shoulder and gave it a comforting squeeze. Virgil turned away and sighed; unable to find the words to continue.

"You don't have to say anymore if you don't want to, Virgil. It's okay." Logan assured and felt blindly in his centre console for a pack of tissues to offer.

Virgil opened his eyes and turned to face the man beside him; hazel eyes as soft and comforting as the hand on his shoulder. His thoughts froze for a moment as he found himself lost in Logan's comforting features; pained memories present but duller with those eyes on him and hand lifting to offer a pack of facial tissues. Finally, he was able to swallow the lump in his throat and nodded gratefully;  taking the tissues and tearing his gaze away so he didn't cry.

 

"I'm going to get the pizza," the drivers side door opened as Logan prepared to leave. "Why don't we change the subject upon my return."

He carefully closed the door, after Virgil gave him an affirming nod, and headed around the corner to collect the pizza they had ordered. Though Logan felt guilty for bringing up the topic in the first place, he was thankful that he had. The conversation gave him the smallest glimpse into Virgil's past, and he was comforted by the fact he seemed just as determined to hold his emotions to his chest as he was. It was a welcomed change that intrigued him greatly. Everyone Logan had previously befriended had been such  open books, easily talking about themselves and their past; it was overwhelming and slightly boring. On the other hand, Virgil was a choose your own adventure mystery novel that required careful questioning and consideration to find any answers. Their friendship may have happened in a single afternoon, but Logan was now slightly hopeful they could work through their novel-like lives and make a relationship of some kind.

" _It's too soon to make judgements like that._ " Logan reminded himself, " _I don't even know if Virgil would be interested in a relationship, let alone one with me._ "

 

After collecting the food, Logan headed back towards the car; pausing for a moment when it first came into view. The man in the passenger seat looked so peaceful; head resting back in the slightly reclined chair and breeze shifting his hair from the opened window. If his hands weren't preoccupied, and it was less creepy, Logan would have taken a photo; Patton would have in his position. In the moments before reaching the car, Logan made a decision. I rather selfish and impulsive decision considering the circumstances.

 

Sliding into the car, Virgil stirred from his light sleep and gratefully took the boxes from Logan's hands. With his hands free, Logan looked down at the rings on his fingers; a simple black band on his right middle finger and a silver band on the index finger of the same hand. While Virgil was focused on inspecting the pizza, Logan slipped the silver band off and changed it to his left hand. The action would have seemed foolish and unnecessary to an onlooker, but for Logan it was a sign of moving on. The ring was originally a symbol of friendship given to him by Jason, but then he changed the rings placement, making a mock proposal out of the event.

" _I want this on your right hand now because  right here, right now, I am yours. For now, and forever. And perhaps, one day, if all goes well, I might move it again._ "

Smiling sadly to himself, Logan started the car and stared at his hands on the steering wheel for a moment longer before pulling away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I dropped off the edge of the Earth for a while. Part of this chapter just wasn’t working out for me and I kept leaving it and coming back to delete and start again. I’ve got a holiday break coming up again soon, so I’m hoping to get out of this slump I’m in and write a fair bit and get ahead again. 
> 
>  
> 
> Also, if you haven’t already, you should check out the art @the-pastel-peach did for Chapter 7. Logan and Virgil look so good and she did a great job at capturing the emotion on their faces as Logan tells Virgil how he met Jason. I just love it. 
> 
>  
> 
> Another side note because I put this on Tumblr: I’m no longer in immediate fire danger anymore; though it seems every couple of days the fire level goes from ‘high’ to ‘extreme’ (it goes well with the critical water levels). All good though. I got to do the virtual meet and greet with Thomas the other day right after I heard the sirens of the fire truck heading out. He was so sweet though as I had a slightly ‘panicked’ moment at the start of our time (seriously, he knows how to quickly steer a conversation and take your mind off things).


	10. A tale of the lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan and Virgil share a pleasant meal before their pasts bring it to a tear-filled end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter includes art by [@the-pastel-peach](https://the-pastel-peach.tumblr.com/post/188524858412/comm-for-snail-giggles). Respect the artist and myself and please do not repost. Share the artists original links only.

 

Logan held the door open and gestured for Virgil to enter; pizza boxes securely in his hands. The apartment was rather deceiving; though it had appeared narrow from the outside, the inner layout made it feel spacious and welcoming. Stepping past the kitchen to the small dining table, Virgil set the boxes down and eagerly flipped them open to reveal the greasy pizza, garlic knots and chocolate brownie. It was a meal fit for a king in his mind and he eagerly grabbed a slice to start eating before Logan appeared with napkins; humming as the treat warmed his very soul.

 

“I take it you don’t get pizza very often?” Logan inquired, raising an eyebrow at the others euphoric face.

Instinctively shaking his head, Virgil swallowed and sheepishly took a napkin to wipe his face.

“Sorry. I was in such a hurry this morning I skipped breakfast.”

“That isn’t a frequent habit of yours, is it?” Virgil shrugged and chewed on the pizza crust; causing Logan to sigh and reach for his own slice. “Though some research suggests skipping meals, such as breakfast, is good for weight loss, the more prominent effect is reduced energy levels. If you want to be able to function at your best, you should have regular healthy meals.”

“Thanks, Google.” Virgil grinned, licking the oil from his fingers. “I’ll keep that in mind for the future. How’s this pizza look in terms of health factor?”

“Well, it does cover most of the major food groups; so, I think you will be okay.”

 

The pair laughed and continued eating; Virgil once again impressed that Logan could be both serious and easy going. It was a comforting balance and with each exchange, he felt himself relaxing more and more in their presence. They bantered back and forth overeating habits and better food options until Logan excused himself to collect the hard drive he needed looked at.

Virgil moved the remains of their lunch to the kitchen and took a cloth to wipe the table clean of any oily residue. Satisfied, he set up his laptop before pulling his phone out, almost thankful to see Ben hadn’t replied; though he did wonder what it meant in the long run. Anxiety melted away when Logan returned, and he eagerly took the drive from his hands to dive into work. Pulling up screens with strings of file names and codes, Virgil clicked and scrolled through windows with the confidence of a child turning the pages of a book. Logan was lost watching him; same as the last time he watched him work.

 

“Your intelligence certainly exceeds my own, Virgil.”

“What are you talking about?” He scoffed in reply, not looking away from the screen. “Who’s the science major with, I’m guessing, a full academic scholarship in this room?”

“I actually had offers for my academic and athletic abilities from various higher education institutes; but that’s beside the point.”

“Humbling remark there, Lo.”

“Yes; but, you certainly best me when it comes to computers. I honestly have no idea what it is you are doing right now. It just looks like keyboard smashing to me.”

The laugh that shook Virgil’s thin body was something he hadn’t experienced in a long time. It was weightless, uplifting and pure; and he could feel that it brought fresh colour to his cheeks.

“Just know,” he gasped through stifled giggles, “I will only see this as a keyboard smash from now on, and I love the fact that you compared it to that.”

“You’re welcome. Now, can you please explain what you are doing?”

“Oh, I’m cleaning the files. You haven’t been ejecting the disc properly and there was a lot of rough data. You gotta take care of your files man, it’s a delicate system.”

“Right,” Logan nodded but looked even more confused. “Would you show me how to - um - eject this… disc properly, at a later date?”

“Sure, Logan.” Virgil beamed, shaking his head slightly at the man’s uncertain tone.

 

Clicking a file, an image loaded on the screen and Virgil grinned at Logan in triumph. A small smile sat on his face as he inspected the picture from his and Patton’s high school graduation.

“Looking good there, Lo.” He mused, pointing at the obviously fake smile plastered on their face. “That is a brilliant smile if I do say so myself.”

“I didn’t particularly enjoy the public display, nor the outfit. Have you saved all the images?” As Virgil nodded, Logan shuffled closer and reached towards the arrow keys. “Would you mind if I have a quick look?”

“The laptop is metaphorically yours.” He replied, angling the device closer for Logan to reach.

 

Shuffling through the images, Virgil watched Logan’s face light up as each image loaded on the screen. Familiar faces of Roman and Katie flashed up, as well as many selfies with Patton. It wasn’t until Logan must have shuffled into another folder that the tone of the moment shifted; nostalgic joys replaced with sadness as Jason’s face began appearing in each photo. Selfies, photos taken from a bystander of the two close together, and shots from track races slid across the screen.

 

[*Art by @the-pastel-peach*](https://the-pastel-peach.tumblr.com/post/188524858412/comm-for-snail-giggles)

 

A new emotion snaked into Virgil’s gut that he hadn’t felt in a while. Jealousy. The happiness that emanated from every photo of Jason and Logan made Virgil’s stomach churn. It was different to the smile he saw in the photos with Patton; a clear indication of how different Logan’s relationships with both were.

Logan paused on an image of Roman holding Patton bridal style with Jason hugging Logan to their left; the biggest smile Virgil had ever seen spread across Logan’s face.

“You look really happy there.” He noted, half smiling at the sad man beside him.

“We were… but it wasn’t enough for Jason.”

“What do you mean?” Leaning back in his chair, Virgil knitted his brow in confusion. “Everything I’ve seen, and from what you’ve told me, it seemed you were both very happy. He loved you.”

A breathy laugh left Logan’s lips and he pressed the arrow key again, causing a video to begin playing. “Not enough.”

 

Virgil watched the recording in silence; Logan leaning back and staring at the screen sadly. Jason held the camera on himself in dim flickering light, the muffled thump of music in the background as he spoke.

 

“ _Hey, Lo, you left your phone behind, so I thought I’d leave a little message for you. I don’t know when you’re going to watch this or if I’m going to be with you, but whatever._ ”

He took a breath to steady himself and looked straight into the camera with soft determined features.

“ _Logan, we met in the best way possible; beating up a homophobic asshole and getting locked in a cell together. You were the first person from school I came out too and, by default, I was the first person you came out to. We went from strangers on the track, to friendly competitors, and I relished every opportunity to take you on. I held your hand when you came out to your parents. You were there when my Dad passed away. You supported my move to help Katie and Roman. I watched you beat my school track record and handed over that title with pride and an embrace they’re still talking about.”_

 He rubbed the back of his neck and chuckled to himself.

“And s _hit, you’re a good hugger, Logan. I mean, 10 out of 10 better than Patton_. _”_

 

 

Logan let out a small laugh and swiped a tear that escaped his eye; ignoring the voice screaming for him to stop the video before it ended.

 

 

 

_“Anyway, what I’m trying to get at is, we’ve been through a lot together… and, I want to go through more. So, Logan Mars…will you marry me?_ ”

Jason broke into a laugh and swiped his eyes, before steadying the camera again.

“ _Let me know at your earliest convenience. And if not convenient, let me know all the same. I love you, Logan. But I know that’s no mystery to you._ ”

 

 

 

The video ended on Jason’s half smiling face and Virgil sniffed, not even registering that he had even started crying. He had no reason to cry, really. He didn’t even know Jason, and yet he was crying. Jason had proposed. Logan had been engaged to marry the man he’d lost. It made it even more jarring when Logan spoke next.

 

“He didn’t love me though.”

“Are you insane?” Virgil gasped, gesturing to the screen. “He proposed. Isn’t that the very definition of love, Logan? I didn’t know him, but Jason clearly loved you a lot.”

“That’s just it, Virgil.” The man turned and met his eye, “it looked that way to everyone, but I wasn’t enough.”

“Wha- How?”

“Do you know what happened after he recorded that message?” Logan paused but he wasn’t expecting an answer; merely allowing himself the chance to take a breath. “E’s sister had thrown a party at her house for the science majors. I’d just left because Patton wasn’t feeling well and accidentally left my phone behind in my rush. After recording that message, a fire broke out in the house and Jason went in to help get everyone out.”

Silent tears slipped from Logan’s eyes as he spoke, but his voice didn’t waver as he continued; Virgil remaining transfixed by every word.

“He pulled E out of the flames because she passed out in the lounge room; dropping my phone as he left to go back inside. He went back into a burning building, Virgil. The man who just proposed and was safely outside, went back in because he couldn’t leave it alone. His need to save everyone outweighed his love for me.”

Now Logan’s voice broke; no longer holding back his emotions.

“I wasn’t enough. My love wasn’t enough. Why wasn’t I enough for him, Virgil? Why didn’t he love me enough?”

 

The room froze and Virgil’s lungs stopped working as he was hit with déjà vu. His own voice asking similar questions.

_Why wasn’t I good enough for him?_

_Why doesn’t she love me?_

_Am I not good enough anymore?_

 

“You are enough.” Virgil demanded, initiating a hug he never thought he would ever willingly engage in. “We both are. Regardless of what others say.”

The words weren’t his own; parroted from a voice of his past that Virgil struggled to believe most days, but today he needed to believe it for Logan’s sake. They both needed to believe it.

Hands gently rubbed each other’s backs, a soothing support for each as their breaths calmed. Silence filled the air the longer they remained pulled close; neither wanting to move while they were raw with emotion.

“You are the first person I’ve shown that video,” Logan whispered; breaking the silence. “I kept his proposal to myself this whole time.”

“Why me now?” Virgil said in confusion, shifting slightly as his muscles ached from being still so long.

“I’m not sure.”

“Do you regret showing me?”

Logan shook his head against Virgil’s shoulder and breathed deeply. Despite his response, part of him posed the same sort of questions - why did he show Virgil? Why was he so eager to share everything with someone who was still an acquaintance? As his mind wondered, the silence stretched on again until a sigh cut through the still air.

 

“I’m no stranger to loss, Logan.” Virgil whispered; all fear washed away with his tears from earlier. “My only family is an aunt that I’m paying back for bailing me out, so I know what it’s like to feel alone…but you are far from alone.”

As each word was comprehended, Logan found his mind clearing; accepting the words of the man that felt far from a stranger to him.

“You have Patton, and Roman, and Katie, and E and…”

“You?”

Virgil chuckled and gave him a squeeze, “Yeah. I guess you can have me too.”

 

They stayed together for a moment longer before slowly separating so Logan could grab something softer than the napkins they had on hand to clean up. Virgil picked up his phone and saw his dishevelled face in the reflection, before setting it down on the table and requesting directions to the bathroom.

“Upstairs. It’s pretty easy to spot.”

“Thanks. I’ll, um, be right back.”

 

Logan sat back down at the computer and continued clicking through photos. He still didn’t understand why he allowed himself to get caught up in the images and reveal so much to Virgil. He was suddenly very aware of how impolite it was to meet someone and show them videos of your deceased partner so you could cry on their shoulder. Confusion aside, he felt a lot better in doing so and Virgil had even opened up slightly. The younger man had obviously lost his family in a way Logan could only assume was outside of the norm, and he was thankful they opened up slightly.

Watching the images flick by, he jumped as Virgil’s phone vibrated on the table. On impulse alone, Logan tilted the phone up to look at the illuminated screen before realising it wasn’t his own. Quickly setting it back down he moved into the kitchen and opened the fridge just as Virgil made his way down the stairs. He hadn’t meant to read the message, but he couldn’t take it back now and Logan  knew he couldn’t broach the subject with Virgil. It left him silently shuffling through the kitchen in silence as he mulled over the message’s meaning while Virgil tapped away at the laptop keys.

 

“Um, I’ve cleaned the drive and it should work fine for you now.” Virgil proclaimed, packing up the materials on the table.

“Thanks…for everything.” Cheeks heating with embarrassment, Logan took the drive from Virgil’s outstretched hand. “I got a little caught up in the moment and wen-”

“It’s fine, Lo.” As Virgil looked up from his bag, a genuine smile spread across his face. “Really. It was…nice and - um - I-I have a question.”

“Oh, sure. What is it?”

Pulling his bag up and over his shoulder, Virgil fiddled with his bag strap nervously and forced his mouth to cooperate.

“I know you’ve got a busy few days ahead, but…would you like to hang out again? At some point.”

“I’d like that.”

 

Looking at Logan had Virgil’s heart racing and suddenly the voices were back. The woman’s voice disgusted at the idea of a man loving a man. The young men joking and teasing. The woman’s screams of anger. But then there was another.

_I will still love him regardless of who he loves. He’s my son. Nothing will change that._

 

"Logan?" Virgil's voice was suddenly small and quiet, and Logan peered over his glasses in confusion by his sudden change in demeanour. "Can I... Can I hug you? Again."

Though initially taken aback, Logan nodded and closed the gap between them; Virgil dropping his bag strap as he wrapped his arms around Logan’s torso. Their heights weren’t close, so Logan lowered himself slightly to allow Virgil’s head to rest comfortably on his shoulder. The hug was different from what Logan had previously experienced. Not awkward and full of sadness like before. Not dainty like his past girlfriends. It was hardly snuggly like with Patton and nothing like Jason. Jason had been a rock. Firm and supportive. Virgil was... Sturdy and soft. Like he would hold him up but could also crumble at any moment.

 

The instant Logan’s arms embraced Virgil, he felt safer. The negative voices were silenced and all he heard was the voice of his grandparents. Supportive, accepting and kind. It felt right and for that time, he felt truly safe.

 The sound of Logan's phone broke the peace of the moment and Virgil quickly drew back; not wanting to keep the man from checking it. With a sigh, Logan looked at the message on his phone and then back to Virgil.

"I need to go into work for a bit; Maggie isn’t well. I'm sorry, Virgil. This was meant to just be a nice lunch and I-"

"Thank you, Logan."

"What?"

"I think. I think I really needed today."

"Oh. Well, you’re welcome, Virgil."

Lifting his bag back over his shoulder, Virgil smiled up at Logan. "I should get back to the library and do some work befo-"

He was cut off by his phone ringing; Logan noticed Ben's name lighting the screen and the way Virgil’s hands immediately began to tremble. "I've got to go."

"I just have to grab my uniform and I'll drive-"

"It's fine, Lo. I'll walk, I really need to go."

There was a significant shift in Virgil’s tone and demeanour that had Logan very concerned about the message he’d seen earlier.

"Virgil? What’s wrong?"

“Nothing. I’ll catch you later, Lo.”

The door accidentally slammed shut as Virgil rushed out, swiping the screen to answer Ben’s incoming call; leaving Logan alone with seeds of worry taking root in his stomach.

 

* * *

 

"Bless you." Patton maintained a smile as he offered the tissue box to the student that had just covered their worksheet in a spray of saliva. "Cover your mouth next time, please."

"Yes, Mr Smiles."

Ignoring spit and snot was all part of the job in Patton's eyes as he continued to read the questions on the slightly soggy sheet. Working with children was something Patton had known he wanted to do since he was in middle school. It was one part wanting to encourage creativity and another part wanting to be better than some of the teachers he had had. The volunteering he did at the moment did nothing for his bank account, but Patton found he was learning a lot more in those few hours he could manage in a classroom compared to the hours spent on campus.

 

As the final bell rang, the small group farewelled Patton with hugs before racing out the door and, after bidding the supervising teacher farewell, he soon followed behind. Despite being eager to leave, Patton did make the effort to stop by the staff bathroom and smother his hands in disinfectant; knowing how crippling a cold was for Roman in more ways than one. Leaving the bathroom, the school echoed with the students' yelling and laughter as they flooded the sidewalks to begin their journey home. When Patton finally exited the building, he found himself quickly dodging the kids to reach the man leaning against a tree to the side. Pocketing his phone, Roman looked up just as Patton wrapped their arms around his neck; teasing him with a kiss.

"I come to pick you up and all I get is a lousy kiss on the cheek." Roman pouted.

"There are children present, Ro, and I don't see your valiant steed anywhere to take me away." There was a wicked gleam in Roman's eyes at Patton's words that made him giggle in anticipation. "Unless you've got your car hidden nearby?"

"My car wasn't coming anywhere near these little door bangers." The comment got an eye roll in response, but Roman stepped back and grinned regardless. "However, I will still be picking you up."  
"Oh no, no, no." Red bloomed on Patton's cheeks as he realised his partners plans. "I can't do that here, Ro."  
"Why not? It's just a piggyback, Pat. No one will even notice if you don't screech like a banshee. Now hop on."

Patton glanced around nervously as Roman turned and braced himself for him to jump on. Part of him knew it wasn’t professional to behave in such a manner; however, his inner child could not be denied for long and Patton was soon on Roman’s back. Ignoring the few looks of distaste, Roman strode down the path as Patton recalled his day happily in his ear.

 

It wasn’t long before Patton noticed the change in Roman’s pace; tiring from early morning rehearsals and a shift at work. Knowing he would never admit to his aching muscles, Patton turned his head to whisper towards Roman’s ear.

“Time to put me down, dear prince.”

“What are you talking about?” Roman huffed, shifting his arms to rebalance the weight on his back. “I could do this all the way home.”

“I know you think you can, but you shouldn’t.” Patton said, giving him a kiss on the cheek. “Now, put me down, please.”

It took a bit of wriggling on Patton’s part, but eventually Roman admitted defeat and let the man down. Standing beneath a tree, Patton shook his head as he watched his partner run through a series of stretches.

“Maybe it isn’t a good idea to do stuff like that anymore, Ro. I don’t want you getting hurt.”

“Are you implying that I am too old to give piggyback rides?”

“No,” Patton fidgeted with the hem of his shirt as he spoke; feeling guilty as Roman continued to stretch. “But I am. And I know I haven’t kept as fit as Logan sinc-“

“Don’t you dare go there, Patton.”

 

The use of his name in such a serious tone, had Patton gluing his gaze to the ground. Roman was no stranger to his partners train of thought, and they were about to jump onto a negative track he didn’t want them travelling down.

“Age is but a number and you know how I feel about body image.” Straightening, Roman reached out to lift Patton’s chin and make them meet his soft brown eyes. “I want to carry you around until we’re old and grey.”

“And even then, you will probably still try.”

“You bet I will, because I just love the way it makes you smile.”

Dropping his eyes, Patton smiled as he pictured an elderly Roman trying to lift him from a wheelchair. His thoughts were pulled back as warm lips connected with his own. Lifting his arms to wrap them around Roman’s neck, Patton lent into the kiss and allowed himself to get lost as they automatically responded to each other’s movements.

 

The serenity of chirping birds was broken by rolling wheels clacking on concrete and children’s laughter was carried through the air. As the noise came closer, a smile pulled Patton’s lips away and he pressed his forehead on Roman’s; breathing deeply as he watched his partners eyes shift behind closed lids.

“I can feel you staring.” A wicked smile spread across Roman’s face and one eye slid open slightly. “You like what you see?”

“Not really,” eyes snapped open as Patton lent back with his own mischievous look, “I’d prefer to see it with a hint of powdered sugar.”

With a wink, Roman knew exactly what Patton was insinuating; they had baking to do.

“What are we waiting for? We have some sugar to acquire!”

 Grabbing his partners hand, Roman practically dragged him down the path in excitement; quickly overtaking the group of children that had just past them.

 

 

* * *

 

 

As the afternoon began its shift into evening, the meeting members each prepared themselves for the emotional catch up ahead. Ethan finished boxing up mixed sliders for the group just as Roman messaged that he was parked around the side of the diner. The couple had changed clothes following a messy baking session at Roman’s house; kitchen quickly wiped clean to hide their shenanigans from Katie. The sugar scent from the cookies filled Roman’s car and was soon mixed with the diner’s aroma as Ethan climbed inside. Keeping their greetings brief, the music was turned up as the group made their way to the library.

 

 

Collecting a cooler bag from the passenger seat, Logan locked his car and headed into the library through the back door. He was surprised to find Katie alone and setting up a picnic rug in the middle of the reading area.

“Hey Katie. Where’s Virgil? I thought he was helping you set up?”

“I was going to ask _you_ about that.” Katie said as she straightened and followed Logan towards the kitchen area. “He called and said he had a friend to visit and he’d do the clean in the morning instead. But, I’m not sure about that.”

“What do you mean?”

“Something was off.”

Logan placed bottles of drink in the fridge and looked over to Katie’s thoughtfully knotted brow.

“How so?”

“Something in the way he spoke. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but something definitely wasn’t right. Did everything go okay with you two today?”

“Well… it didn’t go bad.” Sliding the leftovers he had forgotten to give Virgil into the freezer, Logan turned and shrugged at the woman behind him. “There were some… low points. But, otherwise, it was a rewarding experience.”

It didn’t feel right to disclose all that had occurred, and he didn’t see any reason to share the private message he’d seen. Katie didn’t seem convinced and Logan sighed as he took out his phone.

“If you give me his number, I can send him a message and check in.”

“Thought you would have exchanged numbers by now.” She commented, setting her phone to send Logan the contact information he needed.

“I’m not going to feed your little fantasy and respond to that comment.” Logan smiled and sat on a nearby chair to type out a message. “Why don’t you go finish shutting up the front of the library and I’ll set up back here.”

“Sure, Lo. I’ll give you and your phone some privacy then, shall I?” With a wink, Katie headed towards the libraries front to lock up and shut the main computer down for the evening.

Alone at the back, Logan typed out a brief message and waited patiently for a reply.

 

**Logan:** Hi Virgil, this is Logan. Thank you again for your assistance today. It was very much appreciated. In our rush this afternoon, I forgot to pass on some additional payment for you. Could we possibly meet at the library tomorrow for me to exchange it?

**Virgil:** let it go Logan. I don’t need anything else from you.

 

Logan was unsure of how to interpret the tone of Virgil’s message. There were multiple ways he was able to hear it in his mind. Left to dwell he would have fixated on the negative connotations, but Patton, Roman and Ethan’s entrance pulled him away. Sliding the phone into his pocket, Logan shifted his focus to the friends he had in his company. An overdue meeting was ready to occur.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, it has been over a month since I updated. Jeepers that’s a bit of a wait. Sorry about that. It may be a similar thing for the next chapter because my idea of updating fortnightly just hasn’t worked out in the long run. Too much untamed creativity and not enough time. 
> 
> I have mixed feelings about this chapter. I love my analogical, but the royality just isn’t flowing for me at the moment. Not quite sure why. 
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoyed the chapter and the art by[@the-pastel-peach](https://the-pastel-peach.tumblr.com/post/188524858412/comm-for-snail-giggles). Now you can get a bit of an idea of how I see Jason. The red streaks were my way of connecting him to Roman (red, Roman, fire – it all relates). I think that might do for commissions for this for now though. I haven’t really got any scenes that stick in my brain (even though I would love to see E and Katie). Don’t forget to like and share Peach’s post if you enjoyed their artwork. Please don’t repost the art yourself, only share posts by Peach or myself. 
> 
> Thanks again for reading. Happy timezone, friend 💜🐌

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading, and I really hope you enjoyed it.  
> Feel free to pass on any feedback you have (as long as it is constructive). 💜🐌
> 
> Also, I’m on Tumblr.
> 
> I have a page for my art - [**@1-1snailxd-art**](https://1-1snailxd-art.tumblr.com/) 🐌
> 
> And one just for fun - [**@snail-giggles**](https://snail-giggles.tumblr.com/) 💜
> 
> Feel free to check either of them out if you want.


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